July 3 2016 Core Values 4 - Authentic Relationships

Heavenly Father, we ask that You would be with Jason’s father and the family there today. We pray for a complete and speedy recovery – I pray that whatever needs to be done in the Hospital, that the doctors would know what to do to help. We pray you would give peace to those who are concerned and give Jason’s dad a good spirit about the situation. You are intimately acquainted with our bodies and how to best take care of us. As we celebrate our independence, thank You for the privilege to be free to live our lives in freedom – as followers of Christ, to see it as an opportunity – never to forget what an opportunity it is to serve and worship You freely. In Your name we pray. Amen.

The picnic –is August 6 – there are signup sheets in the back.
For the Operation Christmas Child – if you sent it out and checked the box to know where it went – please get back to me – so we can make a map of where the shoeboxes have gone.
This is our 4th of 5 values – Authentic relationships – where people are known and accepted as they are and given love and support to grow in their relationship with God.
If you want to know how wonderful the relationships here, just stay on a Sunday until the last person has left!
We are relational beings – and there has to be something in the trinity that has to do with relationships, as we are created in His image.
We think of the word Authentic – it is such a buzzword and has come to mean less as a result. I think of Christ-centered and Christ-like relationships. Christ needs to be engaged in that relationship – to sit at the center of the relationship.
Even in marriage – I emphasize – Christ must be at the center of each person’s life and the center of the family. That does not mean we just read verses at one another, but to allow Christ to be the one we center and focus our lives around. And Yes, the rest of it is doing the normal stuff of life. But keeping Christ at the center.
Not just Christ-centered, but Christ-like. To the extent you are being made into the image of Christ – and into His image – the more effective you become at relationships. The better your relationship will be.
Acts 2: 42 They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.
Fellowship is one of those deep rich words – it doesn’t just mean potluck dinners and hanging out after church – it is so much more than that! Deep relationships – because the church is about deep relationships.
Most of us have a point where we want to stop – all the farther to let someone in. When the Bible talks about this – it talks about not stopping – to be open – we need to have a handful of people who know us fully. What we want is to know and be known fully. There are wounded things that keep us from that. That is where genuine satisfaction and fullness of life come from.
Fellowship – is not always translated as fellowship – it can be translated as participation – partnership that touches every aspect of life.
2 Cor. 8: 3 For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own, 4 they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the Lord’s people.
There are some translations – for favor of fellowship in the support of the saints.
When we talk about authentic relationships – it broadens into financial help.
Phil. 1: 3 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Participation in the gospel – calling/cause/service.
Partners – not like in a business venture – but an adventure together for God.
Partnering together with God in His work for His kingdom – and it is through that that
1 John 1: 5 This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; 7 but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.
In order to have right relationships with others, we must have a right relationship with God.
If we do not have a right relationship with others – we don’t have a right relationship with God.
Have I ever shared this gospel message? God is light and in Him there is no darkness at all.
If we say we have fellowship with him and yet keep on walking in darkness, we are not practicing the truth – It starts with believing the truth. But practicing it is the reality.
If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another.
The light – walking in God’s presence, holiness, wisdom and truth. Darkness is falsehood evil and sin.
When you wonder – why don’t I have good relationships with others, you have to ask – is there something wrong in my relationship with God?
If you don’t get along with people in general, you don’t get along with God. Obviously – there are some people none of us gets along with. I may be one of them! I’m at peace with who I am. But we need to challenge ourselves.
ONE ANOTHER – there are a bunch of these – beloved, let us love ONE ANOTHER. The way we develop Christ-centered relationships – is to practice these foundational verses – and it starts with loving ONE ANOTHER. Love is from God. The good thing about it – we don’t have to have it in us – it comes from God. There are those who seem like loving people – but no, love is from God. Everyone who loves comes from God and knows God – and it gives us the power to love everyone – even our enemy. We have that power living inside us. We need to let God’s love flow through us. That is our choice. And at times, we say, sorry, God, I’m not loving that one – but the power is there to love EVEN that one.
Philippians 2: 3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;
Love one another. Love must be void of selfishness and an attitude of superiority.
Where he says – regard one another as more important than yourself – it is not about having a low self-esteem – but have an attitude of honor for others because they are created in the image of God. Loved by God. Authentic relationships have a lot to do with our perception of others. This ability has a lot to do with how we perceive others. We cannot have authentic relationships if we view others as inferior to us. It is not possible to have a good relationship with someone you view as inferior. They may be younger, not as skilled, or talented as you – but it is not okay to consider yourself superior
Galatians 6: 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.
We are to share in the experience of life fully with others. Our tendency is to think about giving advice but we need to carry other people’s loads. Simon of Cyrene bore Jesus’ cross. Sometimes we have to bear others’ sins. Not like Jesus on the cross – but metaphorically – in family – you know this – in family you have to bear one another’s’ sins. As a parent – there are times you bear their sins in your soul. Failures, grief, emotional issues – all of us have things we don’t like bearing. Some can bear with others better than others.
Sometimes God puts you in relationship with someone whose sins you struggle to bear. God is kind to us – and helps us to become like Him.
The question to ask – what burden is there I can carry?
Eph. 4: 32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
I am going to focus – there is a lot in here – Forgiveness. Authentic relationships are impossible to have if we are unable to forgive. We have to forgive.
Galatians 5: 13 For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
This is love in action. Service is love in action. Whom can you serve and how can you serve them? When you serve in a ministry in the church, you are not serving the church, but people. You cannot love an organization. We are serving people. Within the church we want to use our gifts and talents in the things that are best for us – but dirty jobs – that is real service. Places we don’t
James 5: 16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.
Protestants don’t learn to confess to one another. It is not a ritual – it is a relationship – to have some people you can acknowledge and confess your sins to.
A couple quick practical things –
If you are thinking you don’t have authentic relationships – ask why. Is there something about me? Something wrong with me? The answer is yes! All of us have things wrong that ruin our relationships. Recognize it, identify it, and begin to move on. Maybe you are afraid to be known because of shame… there is a lot of deep shame – and you can’t just blurt it out to anyone – but find safe people – someone you can share the shame with.
Sometimes we want relationships so bad we drive people away.
Other times, we are just too self-oriented.
I have a private Facebook group – it is just for me. Only I can see what is posted. Just kidding. Sometimes we are afraid to be hurt, so we are too guarded. We need to address those.
You’re not okay, I’m not okay. It is a reality – we have to move on. If we are waiting until we are okay, you’ll have to wait forever.
Is there something about your friends? The key is finding people to have Christ-centered relationships with.
Start slow – good relationships take time. You rarely meet someone and bam – good relationship. It takes many small steps of initiating. Don’t force it. Everyone can’t be your best friend.
We go through seasons – times when we might have just one close person. Other seasons it is spread out...
A big key in this is learning to love without getting anything in return. We expect to get things in return and that doesn’t work. Let’s pray.