March 19 2017 Overcoming Sexual Immorality

by Mike Marette

Mike references this link below: Healing is More Important than Resolution from 9/21/2014.

Revelation 2:18 18 "To the angel of the church in Thyatira write the following: "This is the solemn pronouncement of the Son of God, the one who has eyes like a fiery flame and whose feet are like polished bronze: 19 'I know your deeds: your love, faith, service, and steadfast endurance. In fact, your more recent deeds are greater than your earlier ones.

Jesus starts with compliments. This church is strong in the big three: love, faith, and hope (endurance). Hope is always connected with endurance. There is no endurance unless there is hope. What he says – with these most important things in the Christian life, this church is doing well. In the middle, not just hope, faith, and love, but service – I know your service. Hebrews tells us that God remembers even if you give a cup of water to someone in need. God knows YOUR service. He remembers everything you have done for Him and His people. God always remembers.

Revelation 2:20 20 But I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, and by her teaching deceives my servants to commit sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols. 21 I have given her time to repent, but she is not willing to repent of her sexual immorality.

The big issue in the church in Thyatira is sexual immorality.

In general, as a church – we don’t like to talk about this issue. This is not an easy one for me to do. I wish I weren’t talking about this today. Why the church in Thyatira here? It is a big problem in society and in the church.

Young people – building a church for the next generation – we’ve been trying to learn more about this. Young people want the church to talk about the hard stuff because no one else does – so we will talk about it today. There is one way that the church tends to talk about this issue – and that is in relation to the LGBT community. It seems that the church is willing to talk about that. And yes, that is an important issue to address – but that is a very small percentage of the people who go to churches like ours. It is a huge issue in the political and cultural wars – but today, I want to address US – the church.

If you’d like more information about LGBT issues and the church, I would recommend a book – A people to be Loved – by Preston Sprinkle. He addresses the LGBTQ issue in a sensitive and compassionate way while holding to the traditional view of marriage.

Back to the Sermon on the Mount now. There are parallels. This verse is a familiar one – and usually something is missed:

Matthew 5:27 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.'

When Jesus said this to his audience – the audience would have been like – Right on, Jesus, Preach it! They would have agreed wholeheartedly – THOSE PEOPLE are wrong and I’m glad I’m not one of THOSE PEOPLE. That is what humans do. We point to someone else and say – we are not like THOSE PEOPLE. We are different. We create a scapegoat out of THOSE PEOPLE and because I am not like them, I am okay. We use ‘those people’ to appease our own conscience. Jesus would have none of that.

Matthew 5:28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

The very thing you judge and condemn – you do. You are what you condemn. That is what He is saying. What Jesus does – He says the first line to get them to point a finger at someone else – in order that three fingers will be pointing back at them. Jesus ministered to a number of people who had committed adultery. In each case – the woman at the well, the one caught in adultery, the woman who anointed his feet – each case was focused on compassion, acceptance, and grace. He never condones or excuses sin – and He tells some of them – go and sin no more. But He always focuses on forgiveness. The difference between Jesus and us when He looked at these issues – He sees people as sexually broken, wounded, and sick. It is not the healthy who need a doctor – and He comes as a doctor, as a physician – so He came for the sick specifically. When we see people as broken and wounded, our attitude changes.

You don’t say to someone, “Why do you have cancer?” Instead – our heart goes out. Here is the reality: Each of us is broken sexually – to some degree. That is what it means to be human – to be broken in most aspects of our lives. And the irony – the others who didn’t see them as sick were the ones who had thought they were righteous – those were the ones that were terminal.

So, let’s focus on us. Let’s not. But let’s.

Heb. 13:4 Marriage must be honored among all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, for God will judge sexually immoral people and adulterers.

The Bible teaches clearly that physical intimacy is reserved for marriage. Any sexual activity outside of marriage is polluting. We often don’t understand that God

Eph. 5:31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church.

Paul quotes Genesis 1. This is a profound mystery. In marriage, there is something much bigger going on than the experience of pleasure. There is something much bigger – a profound mystery – something we can’t even grasp. The two become one. We can’t understand it or figure it out – but it is much more than what we think..

This is a paraphrase of what someone else said: “Physical intimacy is the closest outward connection to the deepest part of our souls.” It is the way our bodies touch our souls in the deepest way.

“What takes place physically in the sexual relationship goes deep into our souls. The physical act connects and links two souls together. Paul says that someone who goes to a prostitute becomes one with the prostitute.

As sex requires us to connect ourselves to another in the most intimate way to another person, it also opens up our souls to another person. There is no such thing as casual sex. There is this mysterious profound mystery of a connection.

That is one reason why those who have been sexually abused are devastated for life – because it is not just the body that has been violated, but the actual soul has been abused.

Ephesians – any sexual activity outside of marriage damages the soul. The good news – whatever damage has been done – God can heal and redeem even the worst situations – and can be fully redeemed - And make it completely whole. I am talking about God and the church. There is something bigger. There is something about the physical union of marriage that mirrors Christ’s relationship with the church.

We were created to be relational beings. That is what we are. That is what it means to be created in the image of God – God is Trinitarian – there is three – so we primarily identify ourselves as relational. Today – what is emphasized is our sexual identity – but we need to focus on our relational identity. We can be fully whole – without the sexual aspect of our lives. Single people who are never engaged sexually can be fully whole in every way – sometimes the church makes people feel like they can’t – that they can only be whole through marriage – but that is wrong – you can be whole in every way.

Because we are relational beings – we are broken relationally. Therefore – intimacy with God is critical – for sexual wholeness.

John Ortberg – in Soul Keeping – “You must arrange your days so that you are experiencing deep contentment, joy, and confidence in your everyday life with God. “ All other things flow out of that – including our sexual lives.

So – back to Rev. 2:24 But I say to you, the rest who are in Thyatira, who do not hold this teaching, who have not known the deep things of Satan, as they call them—I place no other burden on you. 25 Nevertheless what you have, hold fast until I come. 26 He who overcomes, and he who keeps My deeds until the end, to him I will give authority over the nations;

Practical steps to overcoming –

First – don’t focus on dysfunctional behavior. The focus is often on “STOP DOING THAT” – that never works. We must go to the root cause of the problem – and just trying harder won’t work. It never does. If there has been a significant issue like abuse, I encourage you to get qualified counseling.

Otherwise – go to 9/21/2014 – and I spoke about how to get to the root causes – stuff happens in our lives – we turn that stuff into a story – and then within that there are lies we believe about ourselves.

Lies Like: Through giving physical intimacy, I am loved and accepted and get intimacy – or ultimate satisfaction and meaning – but the truth is – in the incorrect context, it destroys.

Second – we must discover our true identity in Christ, not in sexual pleasure – When Jesus was baptized, when the dove came down – a voice came – “this is my beloved Son in whom I am well-pleased.”

Our identity is in that. We are not teachers or engineers or whatever – When we think of ourselves – that is what we should – think – I am a child of God with whom He is well-pleased. Do you view yourself that way?

Isaiah 54:10 Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

You are unconditionally, eternally, unfailingly loved by God. Do you view yourself as that? That is the beginning of wholeness. To understand that you are loved in every way – and no matter what falls apart – His love cannot be removed from you. Also, with our identity – all the guilt and shame is taken away.

I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. (Isa 43:25 )

As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. (Psalm 103:12)

With this area – there is so much guilt and shame and people are trapped. But God takes it away.

Victory is always a ‘grace thing’. Shame plays such a huge role in this. Think of the woman at the well – with 5 husbands – and the one she was with then was not her husband – and the reason she was there in the heat of the day is because of her shame. People were not usually there in the heat of the day. And Jesus makes her whole. Imagine changing your entire attitude. The disciples would say – get away from her. This was Jacob’s well and this is where marriage proposals would take place. Jesus tells her that there is a real proposal for her for eternity.

Third – we need realistic expectations in this area. Our culture – society has created certain ideals that don’t match reality. Hollywood and other industries have thrown out a pack of lies in this area. In the physical relationship – we have been fed expectations that are unrealistic and false. In the area of romance – I’m a guy – so that is my view point – so I asked Cindy her viewpoint. “Romance is important to women – and most men could grow in that area” (“except you, honey” – ha – I lied – a cultural lie) – but she said this – “Jane Austen and Pride and Prejudice is just not real life.”

Here is the reality - The intimacy we want – we want what our spouses can’t give us.

The Ten Commandments say to not covet a neighbor’s wife – but we covet “The Ideal Spouse”

1 Tim. 5:1-2 Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.

What we need – in this area – when people are struggling – it something that can only be overcome in community. You must have other people you are working together. It has to be people you trust – utterly and wholly –

Romans 13:13 Let us live decently as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in discord and jealousy. 14 Instead, put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh to arouse its desires.

John Ortberg- Soul Keeping – one of the groups is starting a study on this – Dick said they have room for a couple more people.

He tells the story of the water supply coming from a spring up high – and the spring turns into a stream – and the city has hired someone to keep the stream clean. This man does it for his whole life – and then the council says – why are we spending this money – so they fire him and he stops keeping the stream clear – and within time – the stream becomes polluted. This area is so important – and victory is possible – but we need to devote ourselves to keeping the stream clean.

Let’s pray…