04.29.2012 Practical Advice - Choose Friends Wisely!

Welcome – we are in the middle of Proverbs looking at practical advice from the Bible – today is Practical Advice about Associations – those you hang out with!
Thank You for Your grace that You reached down and acted in Your grace, by Your grace in our lives, bringing us to You – we have done nothing worthy of what You have done for us – because You are gracious and wanted us to have life. We love You and long to be pleasing to You – help us to learn to do that – even as we look at these applicable verses out of proverbs that are thousands of years old and yet current to the things we face. Your Bible comes alive every day. Teach us to be wise.
Associations – people you allow to influence your life.
Prov. 13: 20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
This is an excellent verse – it is so simple – if you associate with wise people – people of character, that will influence you and that is what you will become like. But if you associate with fools – you will become like that.
Do not be deceived – you are not immune to this:”Bad company corrupts good morals.”
Do you believe this is true – or do you say this doesn’t apply to you?
This is a truth for all of us – the people you associate with will affect your life – influencing your thinking, values, reputation, name, calling, purpose.
What we see in our key verses, this has a negative side and a positive side. We tend to focus on the negative – just like bad company corrupts good morals – if you are around good company, it will influence you positively.
Wise and foolish – no in the middle folks.
Prov. 1:10 My son, if sinners entice you,
do not consent.
11 If they say, "Come with us, let us lie in wait for blood;
let us ambush the innocent without reason;
12 like Sheol let us swallow them alive,
and whole, like those who go down to the pit;
13 we shall find all precious goods,
we shall fill our houses with plunder;
14 throw in your lot among us;
we will all have one purse"—
15 my son, do not walk in the way with them;
hold back your foot from their paths,
He calls them fools and sinners. What it tells us – these negative people will attempt to draw you in – to entice you. You see it at work or in the neighborhood, people try to draw you in to the gossip and backstabbing and politics and are enticing – trying to get you to be like them – to have the same negative attitudes that they have.
They do this first through camaraderie. – Let us – we shall – we will – they are enticing this youth with this need for camaraderie. Never underestimate the powerful need people have to fit in. We see this with kids in school – it is such a strong influence. If you have kids in school – understand – it is powerful – to fit in – to be a part – it is no different when you enter a new job.
Asking our men what the need is – there is this pressure at work – in the business world – to set aside integrity for business, prosperity, success – to cut corners – and we have such a need as humans to fit in – that at times we compromise. That is what He is talking about here.
For the church – we need to understand this need and to create ministries that allow a place where they can zero in – fit in – and understand – as a responsibility the family of God. Too often, we forget the reality of the pressure this world puts on all of us. We need to support one another.
Jesus talks about the family of God being even closer than the natural family – who is my mother and brother? Those who do the will of my father.
This means that the relationships in the church need to be like that because that is the most important support you will get. The church needs to act that way. We need to have those relationships that are supportive.
First – camaraderie – and then entice through promise of prosperity – we shall fill our house with plunder – throw in your lot among us – the very thing that happened in the garden.
1 Peter 4:3 .3 For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry.4 With respect to this they are surprised when you do not join them in the same flood of debauchery, and they malign you;
Once a person comes to Christ – it gets more difficult – the enticing increases – I became a Christian in college – and I was working at vs 3 before I became a Christian – and they did not like when I worked at verse 4.
Prov. 23:20 Be not among drunkards…
Prov. 14:7
You are able to determine who will influence you. Don’t be among them – it takes action and courage. And faith – if we think we don’t fit in, we need to believe that God will step in. It takes work to be a part of God’s family and community. We need to ask – Am I really involved in a community? Do I have relationships that I keep on a consistent basis that enable me to be strengthened in my faith? If you are a couple – do you have that as a couple? We can’t make it on our own – we need fellowship – we need to understand how difficult it is for people to extract themselves from difficult relationships. We see this in domestic abuse – people going back to the abuser. You see it in abusive manipulative cult like situations – you see it with Jim Jones and David Koresh. There is this power that being a part of something has on people and it is hard for people to extract themselves.
Raising kids – understand the power – and how hard it is for them to extract themselves from that. It is also important when we work with people in deep need – we want to say – just get out of that! But it is not that simple – people need a consistent help and encouragement when we get in difficult circumstances.
Flee bad circumstances.
Proverbs 7:6For at the window of my house
I have looked out through my lattice,
7 and I have seen among the simple,
I have perceived among the youths,
a young man lacking sense,
8 passing along the street near her corner,
taking the road to her house
9 in the twilight, in the evening,
at the time of night and darkness.
10 And behold, the woman meets him,
dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart.t

He is the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time. The story goes on and he is in big trouble. We need to flee bad circumstances – to not put ourselves in tempting situations. As adults – we probably don’t think we have that much problem with those types of situations – but we all struggle with tempting circumstances.
Romans 13:14 – Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.
If you are on a diet, don’t keep a chocolate cake on the table at all times.
Think of serious things – we allow ourselves the opportunity to sin. We place ourselves in circumstances that allow us – give us the chance – to do the wrong thing. We DO NOT have the power to overcome temptations that we continually place in front of ourselves. As strong as you think you are – you will eventually give in to the cake – if it is a good cake – and I’m not talking about cakes! You will eventually give in to the bitterness, anger, lust, greed, lying – if you don’t extract yourself from those kinds of situations. IF you provide yourself with the opportunity to stumble – you will. MAKE NO PROVISION! Zero. None.
It is difficult – and sometimes, maybe we need to take drastic actions – throw out the TV – stay offline – just stop!
Now the positive associations – Friends.
If an association is not a positive influence – they are not friends. Friends are those who have a positive influence on you for good.
A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother – Prov. 18:24)
Quality – not quantity. Quality OF relationships is better than quantity.
Gordon Gee gave a great speech – he tends to stick his foot in his mouth – but he said this to the graduates –
Two real friends are better than 200 on facebook.
This verse is saying to be careful not to allow our technology to replace genuine friendship and time together. You see it so much – it seems to be replacing quality time together. He who walks with the wise – that means being together – side-by-sideness – and those are the types of relationships we need to build.
These other verses –
A friend loves at all times, and a relative is born to help in adversity – Prov. 17:17
Many proclaim themselves loyal, but who can find one worthy of trust? Prov. 20:6
Are you one who proclaims loyalty? Are you one who loves at all times? True friendship is rare, but must be strived for.
Proverbs 27
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.
We don’t like it when a true friend challenges and corrects us – but it is what is best for us.
27:9 Oil and perfume make the heart glad, so a man’s counsel is sweet to his friend.
Bob Dylan – You say you’re looking for someone
Who’s never weak but always strong
To protect you and defend you
Whether you are right or wrong
Someone to open each and every door
But it ain’t me, babe, No no no, it aint me babe
It aint me you’re lookin’ for, babe
Hebrews 10:24
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
You need Christian fellowship – be it a small group, people at work – anyone with a faithful commitment to the community of God. Am I in community? One thing on the side – there is a time – and I won’t go into this – for purposeful association with sinners! Jesus hung out with prostitutes and sinners – it was with a purpose – for the gospel.
Homework – go home – first – sit down sometime this week and evaluate your associations and ask yourself these three questions –
Do they bring you closer to God?
Do they encourage you to live with greater morality?
Do they help you fulfill your purpose and calling?
If the answer is no – unless it is for the gospel – extract yourself from that.
Evaluate your circumstances and situations – is there any way that you are placing a temptation in front of you that you will not be able to stand against? If there are - remove that temptation.
Finally –
I encourage you to initiate toward positive relationships – find a way to walk with the wise – look for the opportunity – find, look for and put yourself in circumstances where you can be wise yourself.
Let’s pray.
Lord, we ask you to help us – we pray – to walk with those who are wise that we might become wise.
Teach us how to extract ourselves from those who are fool s – help us to understand and to know that bad company corrupts good morals – and to commit as a community to encourage and support one another to fight the pressures that come from this world.