05.13.2012 Practical Advice for the Family

Sermon Audio

Sermon Audio^^^^^^^^

We’ve been going through practical advice from the Bible – and today, we’d like to look at Practical Advice about the Family.

What do I do? I don’t want to make any of the moms feel bad by going through Proverbs 31 – who can attain to that?

There is a major emphasis on the family in the Old Testament – in the New, it elevates the family of God into a unique position. This is about Family – not just our families, but about the Family of God.

We wish that we had, not so much the practical how-tos – but there is an atmosphere or environment that needs to be created to make that family work.

Lord, thank You for this Mothers’ Day – thank You for the moms – how most of us were raised, and look back and give honor for the sacrifices our moms have made. It is great sacrifice, and yet it is worth it. No mother regrets the sacrifices she makes for her children. As we look at the family and the family of God, we ask that You would meet our needs that we might hear from You and learn from You.

As I get into this – a little side, fun, theological thing – when you read through the proverbs –

Hear, my son, your father’s instruction…

It points out son – but it is applicable to daughters as well.

The NET is put out by Dallas Theological Seminary – and it is very conservative, but they translate it as child. For PROVERBS, though – those in authority would write these things to their sons as they prepare to be the next monarch. It is not just these proverbs, but there are other proverbs.

It is a dad, writing to his son. Many of our proverbs were written from the king to the prince. Ben = son – Ben Hur/son of Hur, Benjamin – son of my right hand.

Psalm 127:3 Behold children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. ESV

NRS – Sons are indeed a heritage….

Sons is correct – the word is Ben.

Prov. 1:8

Family is a place of instruction.

As we think of our families – we need to understand that it is so important to see your role as giving wisdom and instruction and teaching to your family

The church is a place where instruction and wisdom is given. We are to teach our children how to live in right relationships. Right relationships with God, people, and to the world that they live in.

We need to understand – it is our responsibility to create an environment where wisdom is taught.

We need to teach people to apply biblical principles to a changing world. Last week Mike talked about social media – and obviously that was not around in biblical times – but in raising children, it is important to instruct them how to apply biblical truth to real life.

We need to learn, as Christians to view things clearly, biblically.

What is biblical about THIS issue? This is a political season, and many will say a lot of rhetoric. Have you thought about what the Bible says before joining the fray?

The Great Commission – Go and make disciples, TEACHING…

We are to be teachers, in one sense – we all have opportunities, whether we are teaching children or those we bring to Christ. The Great Commission says we should teach – and teach wisdom – not just knowledge.

He also says – they are a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck. The atmosphere of teaching in the family ought to be one that offers grace and acceptance. It is like the person pointing at you and telling you what you are doing wrong.

“I need to review these past few weeks” – “did I do something wrong?”

As parents – are you a fellow-struggler with your kids? We want to be the authority – the know it all – but authorities in the Bible were fellow strugglers – except for Jesus – and even though he wasn’t a struggler – he became one – tempted in every way like we are. The teaching needs to be adorned in grace – Jewelry is an adornment – something to add beauty – we are giving beauty to our children in our instruction adorned with grace.

When we gather for small groups – we are adorning and giving beauty – dressing up.

Prov. 3:21 My son, let them not depart from thine eyes; Keep sound wisdom and discretion: 22 So shall they be life unto thy soul, And grace to thy neck.

Am I giving grace? Sometimes correction must come – instruction with correction.

Matt. 11: 28 Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

When he talks about his YOKE – it is instruction – correction – way of life – it is with a gentle and humble heart. So often, it can be harsh – and we have to guard that. As a parent – you are not trying to be harsh – you are concerned. For me, it always related to the car. My kids say, You freak out! But here He says it is from gentleness and humility.

…you will find rest for your souls.

Does your instruction/correction give rest? The unbalanced yoke – a large oxen with a little one – Yoke – it fits the smaller animal well. We need to think – does our instruction comfortable fit well those we are instructing – that is parenting – that is church.

There are lots of verses.

Prov. 3:1 My son, do not forget my teaching, But let your heart keep my commandments; 2 For length of days and years of life, And peace they will add to you

This is supposed to be life-giving. I’m sure there are times our instruction is restrictive and oppressive.

I like when my kids come home now and realize that we weren’t so restrictive and oppressive.

Peace – is your family a place of peace? Not a place of peace and quiet. But we had boys. It is hard to be quiet – but there can be peace.

Growing up – I had two sets of grandparents – one was an old-timer – who would tell us to sit on the couch and be quiet. We weren’t allowed out in the yard.

My other grandparents lived right next to Long Island Sound – and there was a marsh there – and crabs would come out of the holes – and we were allowed to be boys – and we loved that place.

Prov. 17:1 Better is a dry morsel and quietness with it Than a house full of feasting with strife

Stress and strife cannot be lived with. It just doesn’t work.

Prov. 21: 9 It is better to live in a corner of a roof, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman

This is true, not because of the woman part – but because you can’t live with strife. We need to create an attitude of peace. Shalom – means much more than a lack of argument. Free from trouble, strife, injury and wounds. The church too often is not a place free of injury and wounds – instead it creates such.

The next verse –

There is this attitude of safety and guarding. The church/The Family – should be the safest place on earth. We ought to feel safe.

23-34

There is protection – you are guarded.

The family/the church is a lace of correction.

Prov. 6: 23 For the commandment is a lamp, and the teaching is light; And reproofs for discipline are the way of life,

You gain LIFE when you allow yourself to be corrected – when you allow people to correct you. It is hard – we all struggle with correction –

Prov. 15: 31 He whose ear listens to the life-giving reproof Will dwell among the wise

Reproof should be life-giving.

Too often, the church is a place of SHAME – it needs to be a place of honor.

Family needs to be a place where people are honored through our speech. Do you honor people by the way you communicate? Do you give honor to people in your speech and in giving respect toward others’ choices, opinions, property? It honors people when we recognize that there is value – people are valuable.

TRUST

Prov . 31: 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.

There is the ability to trust in a healthy family. I think part of this is each person in a family learning to be trustworthy. There is faithfulness which builds trust and trust which builds faithfulness.

These are some of the attitudes

Prov. 2:1 My son, if you will receive my sayings, And treasure my commandments within you, 2 Make your ear attentive to wisdom, Incline your heart to understanding; 3 For if you cry for discernment, Lift your voice for understanding; 4 If you seek her as silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures; 5 Then you will discern the fear of the Lord, And discover the knowledge of God.

Receive/store up/treasure/call out!

What an attitude for receiving wisdom. It does not come easily for anyone – it requires this whole-hearted attitude of gaining wisdom – like seeking hidden treasure – it is not something you find everyday – you search and search –

He brings your ears/eyes, heart – into this passage – all of you needs to be committed to learning – everything about you requires gaining wisdom and having right relationships. It requires tremendous effort and learning.

6 For the Lord gives wisdom; From His mouth [come] knowledge and understanding. 7 He stores up sound wisdom (effective counsel) for the upright; [He is] a shield to those who walk in integrity, 8 Guarding the paths of justice, And He preserves the way of His godly ones. 9 Then you will discern righteousness and justice And equity [and] every good course. 10 For wisdom will enter your heart, And (moral) knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;

As you pursue and give yourself to it – God is able to impart it. Anyone can get an education – but God gives wisdom.

Learn to be a person who seeks out advice and instruction. When it comes to raising a family – the most important thing you can do is to get a lot of advice. It should be broad. The thing you don’t want to do is to get one advice. Get a wide range – there are tons of books and programs out there. There is benefit in some of it! There are plenty – even in our church – who have raised children who are grown and you can get a ton of advice. It is not scriptural, it is advice; it is help. So many of us are afraid to seek counsel/advice – we think we know it all ourselves. We think we can figure it all out – and that will get you nowhere – actually – it will get you somewhere, but you don’t want to go there.

Let's pray.