06.20.2010 Fathers' Day

06.20.2010 Grace Summit Sermon - Fathers' Day - Dick Cooper from Grace Summit on Vimeo.

06.20.2010 Grace Summit Worship from Grace Summit on Vimeo.

SermonAudioHappy Fathers’ Day
Let’s Pray…
Someone once said that Fathers’ Day is a lot like Mothers’ Day, only you don’t need to spend as much money!
I think of the first kids – who thought they should honor their mother – and made dinner and bought cards and chocolate – and a few weeks later – one of the kids may have said – hey, shouldn’t we do something for dad?” And that is how Fathers’ Day started
I don’t have the 3 point lesson like Mike has.
If I did, the first point would be to become a father – and that doesn’t seem right.
My goal is that our view of fathers would be a little higher.
I’m afraid we don’t always get a very good picture of males and especially fathers from today’s media. It has gotten to become politically acceptable, and really even expected, to make these jokes about men.

I want to talk about some of the traits we are portrayed with. I know guys don’t always like to read a lot of words and since some of these concepts can be pretty deep I have added some pictures that I hope will clarify what I am discussing. We’ll see how culturally in tune you all are.

Today’s Dad
Lazy - The modern male is often painted as lazy, (Homer) always looking for the easy way out, looking for any way out of work, postponing tasks, living only for the weekends and when they finally come not really doing anything, not able to complete a task well.

Ignorant -
Ignorant, (Peter Griffin) not able to conceive of a logical plan for even the simplest task, no social graces, not able to face life at a level equal anything more than a nine year old, not able to complete a coherent sentence, can’t use words with more than four letters and one syllable.
Self-serving (Jerry McGuire) only able to see their own needs, often lie, cheat, steel, deceive, even with close friends, not dependable
Bumbling – (Inspector Clouseau) inept, ineffectual, incompetent, incapable, inefficient, maladroit
Insensitive (Michael Scott) abrasive, cutting and hurting, tongue slashing like a sword, unaware of the damage done
Aloof, not there when you need him, not there at all. You know the scene where the family is saying I know he’ll be there, he said he would. And we can just keep waiting because, trust me, I made the slide, he just ain’t gonna be there.
Evil! –
These aren’t all fathers – some are just guys – but I have a feeling – if they were fathers, they would be just like their character.
Jerry McGuire – he made some decisions and actually got better – I doubt he stayed that way. Left on his own, I think he would revert to the same old guy. In order to have permanent change – we need the help of the Holy Spirit.
We recently finished a study called Love and Respect – taken from this section – and I’m going to pick and choose a few verses relating to fathers.
You might wonder what God’s will is – it is found here:
Eph. 5: 15 Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. 18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. 19 Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
This isn’t a new thought – or a shift in the text – and again:
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
This can be viewed as a difficult statement – I won’t get into all of that – but Paul is setting a standard – Roles – how we fit and work together. Husbands need to submit to Christ, and the family to the husband. He is giving these roles like commands – but I don’t think he gives commands for things we really like to do – He doesn’t tell us to go out and drink chocolate milkshakes with whipped cream on top. I wish He would! We can handle things like that on our own! But he tells us to do things that might not be comfortable or don’t come natural to us. Husbands, be the head of the family – I don’t think that comes naturally.
Ephesians 5: 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

This is a pretty heavy section – this is our job – this is not for a pansy – it is strong love, requiring courage, commitment, loyalty and devotion.

He proceeds in a new chapter – remember, chapters were added later…
Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- 3 "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."
Honor your father and mother! (Which is why we have these days!)
There is a story that my wife told me – some guy is a photographer and was asked to take a picture of a forest fire – his boss told him – there would be a plane waiting there – take the plane and take pictures. He gets to the airport – they get up in the air…he tells the pilot – circle around the fire 3 times. “Why do you want me to do that?” “I’m a photographer and I’m supposed to take pictures of it!” ”So you’re not the flight instructor?”
Sometimes we leave our kids without instruction. I had a lofty view of my dad.
Sometimes my kids will tell me something and I will not respond – but they might view that as rejection.
Sometimes they come up and are really excited about something – and I think, if they had just done it slightly differently – it could have been perfect – they might view that as rejection too.
If our kids hear an angry word, it is hard to restore that confidence.
This is not an easy thing to get up and stand before you – I really appreciate Mike – but I don’t appreciate him taking a week off!
Sometimes I fail to give my kids instructions – and I feel bad about that.
As a leader of the family – the goal is not to get from here to there – but to help them learn to get there on their own.
Some fathers choose to abdicate – this is too big of a task – that is being a coward, I think.
Others like to call all the shots – cracking the whip – but they are doing it for their own benefit –
City Slickers – guys nearing a midlife crisis – Jack Palance is this hard driving rancher – what is the purpose of life? You city slickers – only a few things are necessary (really only one!) – What is that one thing – You need to find that out for yourself!
In that section I quoted – Mary chose the better part – the implication is that Martha DIDN’T choose the better part – but she did it with a bad attitude. Our family has a goal – we need to find what that is and really go after that. Once we understand it – it makes our job a little easier – it is still a big, daunting task.
I think God views the responsibilities to lead as essential.
We need to strategize how best to accomplish these purposes.
Elisabeth Elliot – “"If you take being a father seriously, you'll know that you're not big enough for the job, not by yourself...Being a father will put you on your knees if nothing else ever did."
It is a big task. When we can’t handle it – we need to be willing to call on others (and God!).
I wonder why God uses the word father to describe Himself. He dreamed this whole thing up – I am an architect – and this building did not just appear out of nothing. It took planning and forethought to make it happen. In the same way – God is intimately involved in the workings of our lives.
God is the financier – He loves and protects us – he doesn’t want to see us fail or make bad decisions – but we learn hard lessons the hard way.
He rejoices over us – never leaves us, never gives up on us.
Jimmy Valvano is an interesting guy – was a young basketball coach – he coached NC State – back in 1983, at the age of 37 – I don’t know if they ever had any star players – But this nobody team beat Houston – with Clyde Drexler and Hakeem Olajuwon – “My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person – he believed in me.”
We need to believe in our kids so they can understand this.
Harmon Killebrew – baseball player – at the time, he had the 2nd most home runs after Babe Ruth – My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, “You’re tearing up the grass.” “We’re not raising grass,” Dad would reply. “We’re raising boys.”
We might make a little dirt along the way, but that is okay (as long as we clean up afterwards!)
There are 6 billion people in the world – and you can break that down into two categories…Men and women! Ok – what I am trying to say here – is that I am overgeneralizing things.
If what I am communicating makes them think I don’t love them, I need to improve the way I communicate.
I often relate to those fathers in movies who give their lives for their families. My wife says – You always say you would die for me – but you never do!
Moms - If you have a free Saturday morning – would you make banana splits for the kids?
If it is a nice snowy day – would you think of tobogganing off the roof?
One day, my wife left me home alone with the kids – I decided to see what would happen if I mixed vinegar and baking soda in a Tupperware container – not exactly knowing what would happen – and the kids thought it was a BLAST – so we did it over and over again.
Fathers want to experience life in the fullest and aren’t always afraid to get dirty doing so. They want to explore new horizons, unchartered waters. Some dads wrestle, some get creative, some play sports. But you will often find the dad is the one leading into those unfamiliar territories. Especially when the mom is not around.
We need to be free to be the man we are called to be. We need to understand who that man is. If we do not feel free we need to discern why – inappropriate or fear or did someone tell us we couldn’t succeed. This takes forethought not Peter griffin
Henry Ward Beecher – The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
Men, we love our wives and children – but we don’t always communicate it well.
You have heard that guy who told his wife “I told you I loved you 27 years ago. If anything changes I’ll let you know”. It occurred to me that God said “I told you I loved you just over 2000 years ago. If anything changes I’ll let you know”. The ultimate male response! But every day He is constantly showering us with his benefits. Since they do not always come the way we would like, we often miss those. But His love is always there. We need to learn how to see that love.
Sometimes we miss it – His love is always there.
Anne Frank – was in the Holocaust time – was 13 or 14 – and what wisdom she had: – “How true Daddy's words were when he said: ‘All children must look after their own upbringing.’ Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.”

Sometimes we hold back on purpose – and it is because we want our kids to learn the lesson.
Some might say that Daddy is not always there when we need him. But in our hearts, we are.
Being a dad is hard work – God never said it would be easy – but that we wouldn’t have to go it alone.
For those of you taking notes – you probably have 3 points already written down – but you can write down 3 things about your dad.
There is planning, strategizing, taking the time to communicate affection, dropping plans to accommodate your family, controlling your speech, behavior and actions, watching your children fall but being there to pick them up, being there to say good job, I am proud of you; laugh, cry, think, hug. If we do those every day we will have a full life. To me there are three things everyone should do every day. Number one is laugh. Number two is think -- spend some time in thought. Number three, you should have your emotions move you to tears. If you laugh, think and cry, that's a heck of a day.
Laugh, cry, think and hug
Jimmy Valvano was given the Arthur Ashe humanitarian award. At the age of 47 – in 1993 – he gave a speech - Don’t give up. Don’t EVER give up!
Laugh, Think, Let your emotions move you to tears – if you laugh, think, and cry, it has been a good day.

Lord, we thank You – You are a great father – You love us, never leave us - You are always there by our side. Help those of us who are fathers to be better fathers – for those of us who are children – help us to be better children.