07.27.2014 - Joshua 22 - A Biblical Lesson in Conflict Management

7-27-2014 Outdoor Worship Service from Grace Summit on Vimeo.

7-27-2014 from Grace Summit on Vimeo.

Lord, thank You that You are with us. Help our minds to be fixed on Your love and our relationship with You. May we see You in a new and fresh way. May Your word have its impact on our lives. I ask that we would go away with some new ideas how to live for You – and to remember what Christ did on the cross. I ask that Your Spirit would move in our hearts and fill our lives and hearts with Your Word.
After the Gibeonites story – there are a number of battles that the Israelites win – and division of the land. The story in Chapter 10 describes a conflict in the community that is actually found in Numbers 32. The Israelites are made up of 12 tribes. There is a half-tribe of Manassah and two other tribes who go to Moses and want to stay on the East side of the Jordan – they had lots of livestock and wanted to stay on that side. Moses was not happy – he thought they didn’t want to fight the Canaanites – but they said, we will cross over and fight with you – and then come back to the East of the Jordan.
In Chapter 22 – all of the lands have been conquered and it is time for them to go home. You have fulfilled all your promises – now it is time to go home. He thanks them; He honors them; He warns them not to depart from the ways of God – and that is where we pick up in verse 10.
10 When they came to the region of the Jordan which is in the land of Canaan, the sons of Reuben and the sons of Gad and the half-tribe of Manasseh built an altar there by the Jordan, a large altar in appearance.
They are getting ready to cross back – and they build an imposing altar – it was huge – really large – and something they wanted everyone to see – they weren’t hiding anything – they wanted to make sure everyone knew what they were doing.
11 And the sons of Israel heard it [d]said, “Behold, the sons of Reuben and the sons of Gad and the half-tribe of Manasseh have built an altar at the [e]frontier of the land of Canaan, in the region of the Jordan, on the side belonging to the sons of Israel.” 12 When the sons of Israel heard of it, the whole congregation of the sons of Israel gathered themselves at Shiloh to go up against them in war.
Whoa! But then cooler heads prevail:
13 Then the sons of Israel sent to the sons of Reuben and to the sons of Gad and to the half-tribe of Manasseh, into the land of Gilead, Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest, 14 and with him ten chiefs, one chief for each father’s household from each of the tribes of Israel; and each one of them was the head of his father’s household among the [f]thousands of Israel. 15 They came to the sons of Reuben and to the sons of Gad and to the half-tribe of Manasseh, to the land of Gilead, and they spoke with them saying, 16 “Thus says the whole congregation of the Lord, ‘What is this unfaithful act which you have committed against the God of Israel, turning away from following the Lord this day, by building yourselves an altar, to rebel against the Lord this day?
So the people are supposed to find out what is going on, but rather, they start accusing – like the verse – he who gives an answer before finding out what is really going on – to him it is folly and shame. They go in without finding out the truth of the situation – and when you do this – conflict always results.
To step back – there is something interesting here from a theological perspective – there is to be one God, one people- Israel, one land, Canaan – and God made it clear that there was to be one place of worship – the tabernacle – the tent that they carried with them – and there they would worship. God made it clear – you don’t build other altars – and that is why the other 10 are upset – but being upset is a little too quick – because they haven’t heard their reasoning. But in a short time – there are many altars being built – and this is a great demonstration of Jesus’ words – do not judge, lest you be judged. He knew that those who judge often have the same attitude as those they are judging.
Kings would come in and would either remove or not remove the high places – the good kings would remove them – and those are the altars that the Israelites build.
17 Is not the iniquity of Peor [g]enough for us, from which we have not cleansed ourselves to this day, although a plague came on the congregation of the Lord, 18 that you must turn away this day from following the Lord?
They accuse them of worshiping Baal – in Peor, 24000 people were killed.
If you rebel against the Lord today, He will be angry with the whole congregation of Israel tomorrow. 19 If, however, the land of your possession is unclean, then [h]cross into the land of the possession of the Lord, where the Lord’s tabernacle [i]stands, and take possession among us. Only do not rebel against the Lord, or rebel against us by building an altar for yourselves, besides the altar of the Lord our God. 20 Did not Achan the son of Zerah act unfaithfully in the things under the ban, and wrath fall on all the congregation of Israel? And that man did not perish alone in his iniquity.’”
We judge people and blow it up and make it much worse than it really is. That takes us to verse 21 – where we see the response of the tribes:
21 Then the sons of Reuben and the sons of Gad and the half-tribe of Manasseh answered and spoke to the heads of the [j]families of Israel. 22 “The Mighty One, God, the Lord, the Mighty One, God, the Lord! He knows, and may Israel itself know. If it was in rebellion, or if in an unfaithful act against the Lord do not save us this day!
They make it clear – what the Israelites think the 2.5 tribes are doing is not what they are doing
23 If we have built us an altar to turn away from following the Lord, or if to offer a burnt offering or grain offering on it, or if to offer sacrifices of peace offerings on it, may the Lord Himself require it. 24 But truly we have done this out of concern, [k]for a reason, saying, ‘In time to come your sons may say to our [l]sons, “What have you to do with the Lord, the God of Israel? 25 For the Lord has made the Jordan a border between us and you, you sons of Reuben and sons of Gad; you have no portion in the Lord.” So your sons may make our sons stop fearing the Lord.’ 26 “Therefore we said, ‘Let us [m]build an altar, not for burnt offering or for sacrifice;
As we were getting ready to cross the Jordan – what if they say – They are not a part of us! And they were right to think this way – that is the way those people thought…
27 rather it shall be a witness between us and you and between our generations after us, that we are to perform the service of the Lord before Him with our burnt offerings, and with our sacrifices and with our peace offerings, so that your sons will not say to our sons in time to come, “You have no portion in the Lord.”’ 28 Therefore we said, ‘It shall also come about if they say this to us or to our generations in time to come, then we shall say, “See the copy of the altar of the Lord which our fathers made, not for burnt offering or for sacrifice; rather it is a witness between us and you.”’ 29 Far be it from us that we should rebel against the Lord and turn away from following the Lord this day, by building an altar for burnt offering, for grain offering or for sacrifice, besides the altar of the Lord our God which is before His [n]tabernacle.”
They continue their defense and then vs. 30:
30 So when Phinehas the priest and the leaders of the congregation, even the heads of the [o]families of Israel who were with him, heard the words which the sons of Reuben and the sons of Gad and the sons of Manasseh spoke, it pleased them. 31 And Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest said to the sons of Reuben and to the sons of Gad and to the sons of Manasseh, “Today we know that the Lord is in our midst, because you have not committed this unfaithful act against the Lord; now you have delivered the sons of Israel from the hand of the Lord.”
So what happens – they give their defense, and the leader, Phinehas believes what they have to say – and says – you are more righteous than us – you have the right attitude – and the 2.5 tribes go from goat to hero.
There are theological things going on there – and practical things going on. Theologically – it ties to one place to worship.
On the practical side – it is a lesson in conflict management – how to deal with it and how not to!
The conflict began a long time ago – this event did not start the conflict – the conflict started when the 2.5 tribes went to Moses and said – we want to stay on this side – and the rest of the tribes thought they were abdicating. Look at vs. 11 – all of Israel gathered – but was it all of Israel? No – they had already x’ed them out.
When there is conflict – the event that causes it is often not the root of the problem. It may have been something that happened a long time ago that is causing this over-reaction.
The 2.5 tribes knew what was going on – they did this in and ‘in your face fashion’ and when they built this altar – they were bringing the elephant in the room to the surface.
They are not gracious in bringing it up. One way we do this is by exaggerating – You always or never do this…
Then there is sarcasm – it brings up hidden conflict in a relationship.
The first lesson – when there is conflict, it may have been brewing for a while.
Second – we have to look at things people do – as them NOT having evil motives. Our natural tendency is to go there first – but it is not the place to go first – it may eventually be true – but if it is not – it is a do not judge situation. You put yourself in the place of how you judge you will be judged.
Do not make accusations when you are trying to resolve conflict! It never works!
Don’t categorize or compare people in a conflict – like they said – you are like Achan – or Peor! How does it go when you say – you are just like your mother!
The source of the conflict is an attitude, not an event. It is an attitude of superiority. The ten tribes believe that they are the right ones and that the 2.5 are wrong. They believe they hold the higher ground. IN the literal sense – they are on the East side. From a theological perspective, they are right – they are only worshiping in one place. But the lesson here is this – Being theologically correct does not excuse arrogance or superiority. Holding the high moral ground means becoming the humblest.
Most of the problems are caused by the ten.
The 2.5 speak the truth graciously – that is not what we intended – let us tell you what we were doing.
You have to get the truth out. Holding to conflicts and not solving them never works. If you ignore it – it grows.
Second – they genuinely recognized concerns of others. “We get the one place to worship – one place to sacrifice – we didn’t build this to sacrifice!”
You need to truly understand the position of the other in a conflict – not just how you are feeling – but to the extent that you can repeat their position back to them and they say – you are exactly correct.
We are so quick to paint a picture of what someone is like – and the other says – no, that is not what we are like!
Third – they deflected blame. Instead of accusing – we were concerned – not that YOU would do this – but in years to come, your children might do this.
If someone says something – you can say – “You were angry with me!” – or you can say, “When you said that, it made me feel like you were angry with me!” - those are two entirely different responses.
“You might not have meant it this way, but you hurt me!”
You give the other person the opportunity to say – that was not my motivation.
4th – they came to complete agreement
Finally – Phinehas speaks and does something to bring the resolution to its completeness. We have the two sides – first side is over-reacting to an event. The other side brings a resolution – and now Phineas accepts their truth. He says, in effect – you are okay – you had this right – you had a good attitude. Second – he recognizes the log in his own eye.
We would tend to think that the log is in the other eye – but the real log is in the arrogance and superiority of the ten tribes – and Phinehas admits it – you have saved Israel from destruction.
These are not just strategies and tactics of negotiations. When it comes to relational conflict, these are not tactics – these are issues of the heart. If you just use these principles as a strategy – it will only work on the surface
32 Then Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest and the leaders returned from the sons of Reuben and from the sons of Gad, from the land of Gilead to the land of Canaan, to the sons of Israel, and brought back word to them. 33 The word pleased the sons of Israel, and the sons of Israel blessed God; and they did not speak of going up against them in war to destroy the land in which the sons of Reuben and the sons of Gad were living. 34 The sons of Reuben and the sons of Gad called the altar Witness; “For,” they said, “it is a witness between us that the Lord is God.”