09.07.2008 How Do You Respond When You Are Mistreated Or Wronged?

How do You Respond?

09.07.2008 Part 1 - Grace Summit Worship and 1st part of Sermon from Grace Summit on Vimeo.
09.07.2008 Part 2 - Grace Summit 2nd part of Sermon and Closing Worship Song from Grace Summit on Vimeo.

Did you watch any of the conventions over the past couple weeks? This is not a political endorsement in any way. I am not Mike Marette and I did not approve this message. The story of John McCain’s cellmate really touched me – the gentleman who told how when McCain would come back from being tortured – he’d turn to me and smile and give me the thumbs up. “That is one of the things that got me through…”
What we are talking about today – how do you respond when you are mistreated or wronged? I think what we see in the story about McCain – he saw a greater purpose in life. His courage, you might say, his outlook, helped save those and preserve those who were going through the difficulty with Him. When we respond correctly, we accomplish a much greater purpose in life – when we react in a different way than what is natural, it gives the opportunity to accomplish a greater purpose in life.
We have been looking at patterns – How God can accomplish similar things to what He accomplished in the Bible. As a Christian – you can expect to be mistreated. Paul said it directly – expect to be persecuted. When we come to Christ, we think it would solve problems – but we should expect betrayal, mistreatment – it happened to Jesus – why not to us? Jesus, Paul, Peter, - all were mistreated.
What matters is how we respond.
Thank You that You love us – and have given Your life that we might have a relationship with You and experience the joy of knowing You. Your spirit lives in us – and You have drawn us to hear from You. I ask that You would speak to our hearts. Encourage, exhort, and motivate us to action. Give us a new perspective of Your love. Help us to know how much You have given that we might trust You.
Last week we did a brief survey of Jacob – this will probably be a briefer survey of Joseph.
You’ll need a Bible today (unless you are reading this on the web!)
Even before this – Joseph was given the coat of many colors – he was the favorite of his father, and all his brothers were jealous of him. They did not like him very much. Joseph has a dream – God’s call on Joseph’s life – His promise.
He talks about the sheaves bowing down to him – and he tells his brothers about this – and to them it means that they bow down to him. They are not happy.
Gen. 37: 8 Then his brothers said to him, "Are you actually going to reign over us? Or are you really going to rule over us?" So they hated him even more for his dreams and for his words.
10 And he related [it] to his father and to his brothers; and his father rebuked him and said to him, "What is this dream that you have had? Shall I and your mother and your brothers actually come to bow ourselves down before you to the ground?" 11 And his brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the saying [in mind.]
So he has this dream –this word from God – and makes his brothers mad. One day, Joseph is told by his dad – Go out there and find out if they need anything – His brothers see him coming – and they make a plan to kill him. As he comes up – they have this plan – and one (Reuben) talks a bit of sense – a little – to throw him into a pit and sell him as a slave.
36 Meanwhile, the Midianites sold him in Egypt to Potiphar, Pharaoh's officer, the captain of the bodyguard
The difference between John McCain and Joseph – McCain was mistreated by the enemy – but Joseph was mistreated by the ones who were supposed to treat him best. This is the most difficult wrong to get over – when you are wronged by the ones you should be able to trust the most. For some, it is a parent – for others, a member of the clergy – or a boss who is supposed to have your back – and for many, it is a Christian brother or sister – which, in some ways, is probably the saddest of all.
I understand that there are circumstances when you have been wronged illegally – and in those circumstances, you should go to the authorities.
We will focus on the personal. If you have been wronged by someone – Try to reconcile. Try to make it right.
Jesus said "if your brother has something against you – leave your offering and make it right."
36 Meanwhile, the Midianites sold him in Egypt to Potiphar, Pharaoh's officer, the captain of the bodyguard –
He could not reconcile with his brothers. There was no cell phone to call them. Reconciliation was impossible. He couldn’t even talk to them. The reality – although our first responsibility is reconciliation – sometimes it is just not possible.
We had a friend – whose dad had passed away – and her sister had not spoken to her dad for years. My friend’s sister was all messed up because of it.
There was no way of solving this problem – he had no power at all – no influence – nothing he could do to right the wrong.
39: 2 And the Lord was with Joseph, so he became a successful man. And he was in the house of his master, the Egyptian. 3 Now his master saw that the Lord was with him and [how] the Lord caused all that he did to prosper in his hand
Joseph remained faithful to the Lord. He remained faithful to God – and that is first. It would have been easy, being mistreated – to use that wound as an excuse to live for himself. That is what many people do. They take their wrongs and it gives them the excuse to live for Me Myself, and I.
I am sure when Joseph was thrown into the pit that he wrestled with God and said, Why God? But, he remained faithful to God. There is no indication in scripture that he ever broke in faithfulness to God.
Jacob, his father, was fairly wealthy – and Joseph was the spoiled one. And now he has nothing. He is a slave – the lowest position you could be in. And his faith – there were no Jews in Egypt – none who worshiped God. He had no support at all – not even a letter of encouragement. He was abandoned and alone. And somehow, he was able to remain faithful to God. When wronged – Keep that relationship with God intact. That is the foundation of everything else.
Gen. 39:4 So Joseph found favor in his sight, and became his personal servant; and he made him overseer over his house, and all that he owned he put in his charge. 5 And it came about that from the time he made him overseer in his house, and over all that he owned, the Lord blessed the Egyptian's house on account of Joseph; thus the Lord's blessing was upon all that he owned, in the house and in the field. 6 So he left everything he owned in Joseph's charge; and with him [there] he did not concern himself with anything except the food which he ate. Now Joseph was handsome in form and appearance.
The second thing – first he is faithful in his relationship to God – Second, he is faithful to the circumstances in which he finds himself. He is in this situation – where he is wrongly put – and instead of closing down, he does his best. He makes it work. He did what he had to do in the circumstance he found himself. When we are wronged, oftentimes it puts us in difficult circumstances. And what we need to do – I think too often we have an idealistic view of Christianity – and we need to learn to take what we are dealt and to make it work. A lot of times we are like the teenager who goes for a job – and you have to cut your hair and the way you dress. “But that goes against who I am” – it really doesn’t matter how long you want your hair to be – if you want a job, you need to do what the boss tells you to do.
That is why so many go from church to church to church – they are not happy about this or that. At times you have to dig in when it is hard and make it work. That is what Joseph has done. He has made it work in his life.
Faithfulness to God
Faithfulness in the circumstance.
Gen. 39:7 And it came about after these events that his master's wife looked with desire at Joseph, and she said, "Lie with me." 8 But he refused and said to his master's wife, "Behold, with me [here,] my master does not concern himself with anything in the house, and he has put all that he owns in my charge. 9 "There is no one greater in this house than I, and he has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do this great evil, and sin against God?"
And she keeps hounding him – and he runs out of the room – and he gets thrown into prison.
He was faithful to his character.
He maintained his integrity when everything would tell him not to.
When we are wronged and don’t respond right, we relax our integrity – we think – because I have been wronged – I can go ahead and indulge myself. We do that in small things – indulging in ice cream – not that that is a sin…well – maybe it is – but we do that in bigger ways. But Joseph does not do that – he remains faithful. That is Joseph.
Now I’d like to look at some things Jesus said.
Faithfulness to God
Faithfulness in the circumstance.
Faithfulness to our character.
Matthew 5: 38 "You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' 39 "But I say to you, do not resist him who is evil; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also
When we look at this – an eye for an eye – we think, how barbaric. I’m glad we are not under that rule any more! But when this was given, it was given in a society where there was not a government to deal with things. Revenge was the law. At the time – It was LIMITING the problem. At the time, it was you hit me, I kill you and your family! It was limiting it to retribution in kind. But Jesus takes it a step further – this is what you would call handling the conventional wisdom. Jesus is saying “Revenge is not an option” to the follower of Christ. When you are wronged, revenge is not an option.
What happens – we desire to hurt others when we have been hurt. That is the natural tendency. Statistics show – those who abuse tend to have been abused.
John Ortberg tells the story of a mother who heard her baby crying – what happened – Sally pulled my hair so I hit her. The mom explained to Johnny that the baby doesn’t understand. Johnny said, now she does!
We want people to feel what we feel when they hurt us.
Jesus talks about cheek slapping. The folks whom Jesus said this to understood this perfectly. This was not about getting beaten up – and telling them to beat you up again… - This was an insult – a way of shame and dishonor and insult. The tendency is to insult back. For us, it might be when you are driving down the road and someone waves to you in an improper way! Jesus says to respond differently. You are humiliating me, but I am humbling myself and it changes the cycle – it puts the other person in an awkward circumstance – it offers the opportunity to get things right.
40 "And if anyone wants to sue you, and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. 41 "And whoever shall force you to go one mile, go with him two. 42 "Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.
The shirt was the undergarment – and they were poor and would have only had one coat – in those days, they used the coat as collateral – but the law said that it had to be returned every evening. It offers the opportunity for reconciliation – if he has to return the coat, he has to come back.
One mile – go two. If a soldier was marching – he could ask someone to help carry his equipment for a mile. Jesus says – go two! He is saying have victorious service! Take it the extra mile! He is trying to explain what it means to live in this kingdom. The people of the places that were conquered did not like these folks. But the second mile opens the opportunity.
Salt and light – influencing the entire world. When you are mistreated – so they would understand – it is looking at the greater purpose. When we respond biblically we accomplish God’s greater purpose.
Back to Genesis 50.
Joseph had been thrown in jail – two of his jail mates had had dreams – one is killed, the other is freed according to their dreams. The other forgets about him – until the king has a dream – and Joseph solves the dream and saves the land and his brothers come and bow before him. Then in 50 the brothers are afraid that Joseph will try to get them back…
19 But Joseph said to them, "Do not be afraid, for am I in God's place? 20 "And as for you, you meant evil against me, [but] God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.
Joseph understood it was not just about him. God had a bigger purpose – even in all the trials – being sold into slavery, being thrown into prison – and God used that to preserve the nation and His people.
Let’s pray…