09.21.2014 The Story of Our Lives - Healing is more Important than Resolution

9.21.2014 Sermon from Grace Summit on Vimeo.

Sue Cooper from Grace Summit on Vimeo.

Worship from Grace Summit on Vimeo.

Sue: Last week – Mike shared Matthew 3:17 – this is my beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased. That is the perfect Father’s attitude toward His Son. Before I had children – Thelma Clark invited me over – and her children were sleeping – and she served us fruit cocktail – she told us she took out all the grapes because her son really loved them. My first thought was – well, maybe I like grapes too! – but then I realized – she knew this was something that would really delight him. And that is how God is with us – He delights in doing things to strengthen our hearts – and He has to know us to know what delights our hearts.

When I see a beautiful sunset, or hear a beautiful song, you know where it says the Grinch’s heart grew three times – that is what my heart feels like -

This is the most beautiful toaster I have ever seen!

Eventually, it became mine! It makes my heart happy – and God knew that! Wit thinks it has too many colors – but it is the most beautiful toaster in the world to me! And then I needed to get new running shoes – and I got these – and they felt like heaven on my feet.

Every time I look at them – my heart is happy. These might not appeal to you – but God knows me – and it makes me happy. These are personal things – and it shows that God not only loves the world – but He knows us and is willing to communicate.

That is the first part of the verse – my beloved child.

Now the second part of the verse – in whom I am well-pleased. As parents, we tend to put on limitations. But God doesn’t do that.

I have a friend who says, I know God loves me, but I don’t think He likes me much. I don’t think that is how it is.

A few weeks ago, we were worshiping – and I just wanted to belt out – but I couldn’t because I am vocally challenged. I did not make 8^th grade glee club – which 90% of students make - But when God hears me, He hears beauty. I am giving Him what He desires – my heart/my love – and He could see beauty in my gift. This is an identity changer – that we can give His heart joy. You might call this anecdotal evidence – but this book is full of God saying He loves us – saying, you are My children – and this world is full of visual aids to teach us the truth of His word.

When we go through life expecting – that God loves us and wants us to realize daily – we can go through and expect and see these things and it will change us. We might not see it if we are not expecting it. Teachers use visual aids – and God does too. If we are looking, we will see evidence all day every day of His loving us and being pleased with us.

Lord, thank You for this opportunity – even as Sue shared – You want to demonstrate that love for us. Help us to cast our anxieties upon You this morning. I pray for Tammy’s grandmother in hospice – she is 91, help them to enjoy these last few moments together. Even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, You are there – You are present. Help us to understand Your love and to give ourselves to You as a result of Your love.

Welcome. We are going through this series – again, being transformed into the image of Christ. We have been laying the foundation – and this is really part 2 of last week’s – we looked at God’s love for us – and we are going to look at ‘The Story of Our Lives’ – we all have narratives. You know those video loops – 15 seconds – that go over and over again. We all have a story in our lives that plays in our heads – that this tells us why we are and who we are and this is us – the story tells us who we are and we believe that story – but the problem is that these stories are sometimes false! These false beliefs have formed us into the people we are.

Sometimes these narratives make us out to be people we don’t like - angry, impatient, prone to lust and envy and violence and we don’t believe that we can change. Compounding the problem, We’ve tried to change stuff that we don’t like and it has not worked.

Paul tells us in Romans 7 –I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t , instead, I do what I hate… I want to do what is right, but I can’t I want to do what is good, but I don’t.– I don’t want to do what is wrong – but I do it anyway.

Paul is talking about the version of himself that did not understand that he could be transformed into the image of Christ. This is what Paul was going through when he believed the false story – when he was listening to the lies. And this is what our lives are like when we listen to the lie.

We have good intentions – we are going to be that way – to not stress about things – to not look at things we’re not supposed to look at – to not dwell on bad thoughts – but so often, our lives don’t match the intentions. And the bad results are often because of these lies we have believed about ourselves and God. We must understand where this comes – we must understand who we are in Christ.

We have this power in us – to live the way we want to live – and I have two questions – do you know why you are the way you are? – Especially those parts you don’t like… - and the second – do you know why you act the way you act? I think it is false stories that have controlled your behavior.

John 8:31 So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, “If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; 32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.”

We need to replace the lies we have heard with the truth. Understand the truth about yourself and God.

Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved.” Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.” ― Henri J.M. Nouwen

The most important thing about us – we are God’s beloved child – that is our core as believers.

“The process for spiritual formation in Christ is one of replacing those images/stories with the images that fill the mind of Jesus Himself”

We need to replace the lies with the truth.

May 12, 2013 – has an expanded sermon series on this.

(go to http://www.gracesummit.org/Messages/entry/05122013/)

John 8: 44 You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks [n]a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of [o]lies.

Satan is the source of all lies - the father of lies. What does he lie about? You. He also lies about God.

Genesis 3:1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from [a]any tree of the garden’?” 2 The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; 3 but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’” 4 The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! 5 For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

He is lying about God here. He is making Eve question the character of God. He is saying God is withholding – He does not have the best for you – He doesn’t really love you! All those lies we hear are found in this verse!

That is the source – how do they get to us? I think it begins when we are young children – and they are connected with wounds – these wounds are spiritual, physical, emotional wounds.

I am using a lot from Tammy Smith (Soul Healing) and Terry Whardle (HealingCare.org)

Peter Scazzero (Emotional Healthy Spirituality) – You must do the hard work of going back if you want to go forward.

We don’t want to do that – it is just too painful – but you have to go back and address it.

Men’s Fraternity – Robert Lewis – he comes out on stage – and has a suitcase – every one of us – we have a suitcase – the sizes are different – some of us have carry-on. We flew to Denver on the day that Frontier got bought out and it changed every rule they had. All the people were mad and they wouldn’t let you take on your suitcase – and they would give you nothing but water! We all have suitcases that need to be unpacked. Until you do that, you are not going anywhere in your relationship with God.

All those broken pieces can be restored. That is the good news – your broken past can be restored.

Tammy Smith gives a caution – restoration does not mean resolution. Many things in your past may never be resolved. You will never get some of the answers you are looking for. You may never get the apology from the person who wounded you. You may never get the restitution from those who caused you great loss. But you can get healing. You can get healing. And healing is much more important than resolution. That is the goal – healing of our broken souls, our broken past.

I have found that if I am constantly seeking a satisfying resolution – I miss the healing. I don’t allow myself to experience the healing when I am seeking resolution.

What are we after when we unpack our past? If resolution comes, great! If the relationship is restored, great! But we know that doesn’t always happen – but Healing CAN happen.

Wounds start early and often come from the ones we love the most – parents, siblings, and other relatives.

Wounds of commission – Physical/sexual abuse – belittling, shaming – and then there are wounds of omission – abandonment – someone never being there for you – lack of emotional support – lack of praise – sometimes these are unintentional – sometimes the parent doesn’t have the capability to meet the child’s need.

Every child needs a safe and secure environment – messages that say that they are accepted… a pathway to fellowship with God.

And the reality is, we don’t give all of that to our children – but those things cause wounds. I will add a third wound. That is the perceived wound. When a child misunderstands a circumstance or event – they read the wrong meaning into something – but the wound is just as powerful as the wound of omission or commission. There are things there that are perceived wounds that are just as real.

Tammy Smith – a wound is a wound – like a cut – the lie comes in through the wound – it fills that gap – the open sore – the lie, like infection, enters in – and becomes a part of us. It doesn’t kill us – it just is a part of who we are.

There was a husband/father who had a lot of stresses and was frustrated and angry – and his little girl goes up – and asked for something – and he lashes out at her. To her, it means – He doesn’t love me, you better never ask for something again – and we process all these lies and they become a part of who we are.

Eating disorders – something has been said to them about the way they look at a crucial stage of their life –and they believe it. No one will ever want me – they can be under 100 pounds and see someone who is overweight – because the lie has become so much a part of who they are.

We take these lies, as children – and project them onto God. Dad abandoned me, God will abandon me. Parents were disappointed with me – God is disappointed with me. So it affects every aspect of our lives.

Unpacking Your Bag

Life Situation – can’t keep a job, often come from

Going to a deeper level – Emotional Sickness – emotional upheaval. They are triggered by our emotions – something that is broken in the interior – come from

False beliefs – which come from

Wounds.

We start at the top – we knew someone who did relational communication seminars and they were divorced and had terrible relationships – because you have to go to the source – identify the wounds! It may take professional counseling – it may take a spiritually mature friend. But you cannot do it on your own. Get with someone you trust.

Once you identify the wound – discover the lie you have believed as a result. It may have been something that makes you think you are unworthy of love.

Third – we need to understand the emotional upheaval. Why do certain events make me so angry? We have situations – something you struggle with – and it just pops out of you – WHY?

A child spilling milk should not create such anger! There is something emotionally there that comes out when it happens.

Next, we need to recognize the behavior that comes from the emotional sickness.

Life situation – Financial stress – being in tremendous debt – if you have not experienced this – someone you know has! Typical solution? Win the lottery or a lawsuit!

What is the dysfunctional behavior that caused it? Spending money you do not have. Using credit cards improperly. Wasteful spending. Just because you have five dollars does not mean you SHOULD buy a five dollar cup of coffee!

Emotional upheaval – when it comes to money – what causes the spending –the emotional sickness that triggered it. Maybe it is because you feel worthless – and that by buying that, you will have value. Do you understand that? When you see someone struggling with finances – it is not just because they are lousy money managers – it is because they have a deep emotional scar. It is the same with food – food issues relate to emotional scars. You can go on and on – there are many of these

After we have done this – the lie – it takes some detective work – it may take counseling – and we have to look at the lie. In this financial situation – it may be something that happened that makes you think God will not meet your needs and you have to take care of it yourself. You can take this to whatever situation you are in.

What is the wound? It can be something as simple as when you were a child, your parents lost their jobs – or where they refused to provide – or not able to provide what the child wanted. What we need to do – get to that point – when you understand that point – you are ready to work on the area – and after this, we will talk about the areas. If I tell you how to not be angry – and you don’t get down to the core – and only then does practical advice provide benefit.

Budgeting is good – but if you don’t get to the core of the problem, you can’t change. When we get down to the wound – you have to work backwards.

The first thing we need to do – understand that the cross of Jesus addresses every wound. That is where it is addressed – and resolution may not be possible

Isaiah 53:4 –Surely our griefs He Himself bore,
And our sorrows He carried;
Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten of God, and afflicted.
5 But He was [h]pierced through for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him,
And by His scourging we are healed.

Whatever it is you suffered – He experienced – Jesus took it all on the cross – and by His wounds we are healed – the healing for all of this comes only from the cross –

This will give us steps to do this – but it must lead us to the cross –

Thank You, Lord – we ask You to heal us - lead us to the cross...