09.30.2012 Creating Healthy Margins, Pt. 1

20120930
We finished last week on Ephesians – the next 4-5 weeks will be very practical – things you can put in your life to help you live better – a series on Margins and Boundaries.
You’re probably familiar with the books by Cloud and Townsend – if you have not read them, you probably should – they are foundational with relationships. If you have relationship problems, you have boundary problems.
Boundaries focus on relationships - Margins focus on our personal lives – exercise/sleep/food.
Picture yourself at a computer at a new Word document – click page setup – click margins. There is a standard if you are getting graded.
We need margins.
Brief definition – and Top Ten ways to know you are living without margins.
Margins – the space between our load and our limits – the space beyond that which is needed – held in reserve – the gap between rest and exhaustion – the space between breathing freely and suffocating.
10 – Proud of how much multitasking you are doing
9 – 3 children at 3 separate activities at the same time
8 – When you find yourself texting while driving, eating, out for coffee with friends – in church – a special place in hell…
7 – When your job is never finished and you can never say job well done.
6 – When you are tired all the time because you are too busy to get the proper amount of sleep
5 – When you spend more than you make
4 – When you drive over the speed limit to get places on time
3 – When you are 30 minutes late for an appointment because you were 10 minutes late to the previous appt. because you had to get gas
2 – If you are unable to take a day a week to worship, rest, and relax
1 – If you knowingly enter the fewer than 12 items lane when you have 14 items!
Monday I was at Giant Eagle – she was calculating how long each line would take – she chose to get in mine – I asked – are you in a hurry? Always. Would you like to go ahead of me? It’s not that bad… - Thanks – I’m a pastor and you just gave me a great illustration for Sunday.
It is hard for us to make space – and it starts here – you must make it a point – prioritize and schedule and plan it – to do this one thing – spend time with God consistently. This sounds simple – but that is the reality – that is the foundation for living a healthy life. Determine – decide – initiate, plan, schedule consistent regular time with God.
We’ll start with Jesus’ example – the news spread all the more – so that crowds cane to hear him and be healed of their sicknesses – but Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Luke 5:15
Luke 6: 12 And it was at this time that He went off to the mountain to pray, and He spent the whole night in prayer to God. 13 And when day came, He called His disciples to Him; and chose twelve of them, whom He also named as apostles:
You may be a parent of small kids – and it is tough. You may have a demanding boss – and it is tough. Jesus – had a picture of nonstop constant pressure on his life – and you have to ask yourself – are you as busy as God? Do you have more on your mind than God? Do you have more to be concerned about than Jesus? None of us does. Think of the crowds that surround popular people. Jesus OFTEN withdrew. HE understood that the foundation was the relationship with the father. If Jesus needed it then we need it. We must determine and make sure we make it a habit of our lives. That is the first point – I need time with God and I will get that.
Luke 10 : 38 Now as they were traveling along, He entered a certain village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who moreover was listening to the Lord's word, seated at His feet. 40 But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up [to Him,] and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me." 41 But the Lord answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; 42 but [only] a few things are necessary, really [only] one, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her. "
We always hear this – and talk about quiet times – but there is a lot more here – there is a lot of stuff going on in this passage for having space in our lives for God – and what that looks like and how to make that happen.
Mary and Martha (and Lazarus) are siblings. Martha is the responsible one – probably older – and in charge – and had the responsibility to make sure things are done properly. It seems there were no husbands involved. And with the responsibility came certain expectations. Martha is made out to be the bad one in the story. Understand the weight of responsibility on Martha – she is inviting a rabbi into her home – it was expected of her to make sure everything was taken care of – that the food was served – everything in the right place – she was doing exactly what was expected of her – in every way possible. So don’t drop her too quickly – Jesus comes in – she had a sister called Mary – who sat at the Lord’s feet – that was enormous – for us, it is like having a quiet time – but this is much larger than that – she is not just having a quiet time – when speaking of a rabbi – a student or disciple demonstrates a commitment to a relationship to the rabbi by sitting at His feet. This indicates that she (Mary) is fully devoted to Christ – and He is first priority from this point on. She is there to follow Him. Now, another interesting fact about this – this is unheard of for a woman in that time – this was for men and men only – to follow a rabbi like this in their culture. Martha is doing exactly what is expected of her – Mary is doing the opposite. Part of that is Jesus promoting that.
40 But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up [to Him,] and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me."
She is making all these preparations… Martha doesn’t realize that all service starts with the relationship with God – she is missing the understanding of what really matters. When Jesus is the guest make sure you have time with Him. She recognizes who He is.
"Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me."
Because she did not decide to make time with God a priority – she loses her understanding of who God is. She forgets that Jesus loves her. She goes off to her business and work NOT having that in mind. Luke is telling us – when we go off to the busyness of life – we need to have the foundation that God loves me – and in this task – what is expected of me – God cares. When we have this attitude – why does she get to do this and I have to do that? Why does this work out for him and not for me? We are looking at things with human eyes and not the eyes of Christ. She calls Him Lord – and says – tell her to help me. She tries to order him what to do. She uses God as someone she gives orders to – her relationship with God has gotten off.
Martha, Martha – (this repeating is a way of expressing love and concern at the same time) – Not – I’m fed up with you or sick of you – but I have this concern for you.
You are worried and upset about many things. He is not reproving her for her hustling and bustling. The problem is NOT that she is fulfilling her obligations and responsibilities. He is not comparing the contemplative life with the life of service. These passages build on each other – and what is before it? The parable of the good Samaritan – so He is saying – SERVE EVERYONE! But do it from a foundation of loving God. What He is concerned about – not about her hustling and bustling, but her fretting and fussing – she was worried and bothered, upset about many things – living without margins = there was no space for God.
you are worried and bothered about so many things; 42 but [only] a few things are necessary, really [only] one, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her. "
When we choose to make the decision to spend time with God – that will affect everything else.
Two ways to do this – and this may seem simplistic – and that is okay – there are many ways to do this – but tow things I have practiced –
1) Having a devotional time or quiet time – real basic teaching –what is it? It requires somewhere between 15 minutes and an hour – can go longer. I spend about a third in worship and praise – celebrating God and what He has done. Another third of the time – and there are no formulas for this – prayer – and a third of the time reading something.
For those of you who have tried and feel like – I didn’t get anything out of it – something to think about – some aren’t as touchy-feely – and we hear of someone saying – God spoke to me… - that doesn’t happen for me, you might say. Read the passage – ask these questions – was there anything in the passage that gave me a better underrating of God’s character? If you read about forgiveness – God spoke to you – maybe you didn’t feel anything – but that is God speaking.
Is there a command to obey? Very simple. If you read a passage and it says something about praying regularly and consistently – you have a command – Pray for one another! God just spoke to you!
Is there a sin to avoid? Don’t LIE! God just spoke to you! Guess what He said? Don’t LIE!
Is there an example to follow? A lot of the Bible is narrative – and people can be good or bad examples – David and Bathsheba – we avoid that one!
Is there a promise to claim? When we read – He who believes has eternal life – that is a promise we can hold to – practicing that simple pattern or something like it – not all passages will have commands – but when you think of it that way – you get direction
Second – Sacred Readings – this is for those with a bit more of a hectic schedule. I do this 3 times a day – very short times – 3-5 minutes. Here is how you do it – morning, afternoon – evening – can do in more or less than 5 minutes.
First – prepare in silence – stop everything for those moments – shut the mind down – shut everything out. Do that for 20-30 seconds – it takes a while for all the thoughts to stop percolating . Read a short passage – it may be as small has half a verse – as you read – listen for a word from God. That means – you are reading – your heart is open – you are looking for a word or phrase that stands out to you- as you are reading it – I have been doing this through Hebrews – “Being diligent lest we not grab the faith we have – it is easy to slip and drift away – it happens when people are not diligent to make sure we stay there.
Reflect on the meaning. When the word stands out - - ask – why is this standing out to me? Why this phrase – maybe something happened at work a couple days ago – and that phrase speaks directly to that.
Maybe in your family – something came up and you said this and did that – and you are reading- and this goes back to that phrase.
Then respond to the word – maybe there is something to confess – maybe something to repent of – someone to go talk to – and then
Rest in that word. Take a moment to say – What are you saying, God?
Resolve to live it out – in a relationship – may be God convicts you of telling white lies –and you resolve to not do that – then don’t do that!
The point is to make space for God and to find a way that works for you – and that way may change on a regular and consistent basis. Let me give you some practicals.
Expect the unexpected
Plan for everything to take longer.
Expect TRAFFIC – Traffic happens –
Learn to say no!
Plan in buffer zones – margins between obligations – space between –
Limit your accessibility – I remember when pagers first came out – and you wore it on your belt – and someone could always get a hold of you – then we went to cellphones so people can call and text and we are always accessible to everyone. We don’t live in a world where we can get away – that is the curse of life.
Turn off all media – I encourage you – once/month – fast from all media – an afternoon or evening – how much media? All. No computer, no phone, no television – no radio – once/month – try it.
Take advantage of natural margins. On the drive – turn off the radio – and focus your attention on God. There are all kinds of those natural margins. Carry a little Bible with you – it is amazing how often you are waiting on something – if you have a hard time reading – take a Bible or some other thing to read with you – and every time you are waiting – read – you’ll be amazed how much you can get in.
The clock and Christ are not close friends. Imagine what God thinks of us now that we are so locked into schedules that we are not locked into the sermon on the mount. It is nearly impossible to walk a second mile today without offending someone’s calendar. We jump to the alarm clock but sleep through the call of God.
Lord, thank You – we ask You to help us to make space for You – allow us to make room – where we can list to You and hear from You – and set that as a foundation – in Your name we pray. Amen.