10.03.2010 Relational Issues - a Biblical Perspective - 1

10.03.2010 Grace Summit Sermon - Forgiveness - Part 1 from Grace Summit on Vimeo.

2010.10.03 Grace Summit Update - Doug Gets a Job from Grace Summit on Vimeo.

10.03.2010 Grace Summit Worship from Grace Summit on Vimeo.

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Today we are going to begin a series on relational issues – a Biblical perspective.
For the next 3 weeks, Cindy and I will be talking about the area of forgiveness – and in 2 weeks, we'll have a special communion time. Forgiveness – forgiving one another.

Lord, I thank You for Doug and his service to this church – for how much and how long he has faithfully served this church – and thank You for providing a job for him. May it be a fruitful job. For all those in need – there is a lot of that going around – we pray that you would provide jobs – that those in this community can have their needs met. We ask You to speak to us through Your word – in this area of forgiveness – help me to share in brokenness this message that You have...

Matt. 6:12 – forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
This is a verse we don't always know what to do with. It indicates that our forgiveness is somehow connected to our ability to forgive. That is hard to deal with and to know what to do with – especially if you have been hurt by someone and are having a hard time forgiving someone.

I think what I do – is ignore it.
Other times – we try to make it fit our theological perspective – but what I would like to do is to look at it head-on – to seek to understand what Jesus is saying in this context. I would like this verse to work on us and to work us over in the next few weeks. This is a big issue – otherwise it wouldn't be in the Lord's Prayer! And He gives commentary on it! Sometimes in reality, it is hard to forgive someone who has hurt us – especially if they have hurt us badly.
Let me start with this quote -
Our ability to understand and experience God's forgiveness is somehow connected with our willingness to forgive people who have hurt us.
Now, in context of the Bible – we don't pull out a verse and create a doctrine – but pull the entire Bible in to look at the doctrine.
Immediate context – the verses surrounding it – found in the Lord's Prayer. It is really important – it is repeated twice in the gospels and has played a significant role in the life of the church.

Matt. 6:. 9 "Pray, then, in this way: 'Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be Thy name.
We are okay with that – God's name being HOLY – we are in agreement.
10 'Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven.
We know this is true – and it is important -
11 'Give us this day our daily bread.
We are ALL there with that one!
12 'And forgive us our debts,
and with this one!
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 'And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
We are with him on all of these


as we also have forgiven our debtors.
You can't separate it out! If you are okay with God giving daily bread, if you take this in context, you have to forgive all who have hurt you.
Where is this story told? In the Sermon on the Mount.

Matt. 5: 2 And opening His mouth He [began] to teach them, saying, 3 "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
The Kingdom of Heaven is critical in Matthew -
persecuted – enemies -
What should a citizen of the Kingdom look like? It is opposite of what we would think! We don't think that way with any of these verses! It is almost impossible to attain these attitudes completely. This is part of what it means to be a citizen of the Kingdom. It goes contrary to our natural way of thinking.
“Forgiveness is not natural, it is supernatural!”
You can't get here on your own – it requires a significant work of God inside of us to forgive people - especially when they have really, really hurt us. Think of someone who has been terribly hurt in awful ways – it takes a lot to forgive someone in that situation.
I would like to lay out some of the theology behind this.
Often, we have an improper understanding of what forgiveness means. It is a stumbling block when we don't understand what forgiveness means. We don't understand what it is, and we don't understand what it is NOT!
It is NOT restoration of the relationship. This is critical. That is not what this verse is asking for in any way. As you study forgiveness, you will understand this. Restoration of the relationship always depends on the response of the person who did the hurting That person has to repent of what they did before a relationship can be restored.
I think a good example of this is The Prodigal Son. It doesn't say exactly, but I think the father forgave the son a long time before he returned – would he have been looking for him if he had not forgiven him? I think the father probably forgave him right away – probably when he said, here, take the money. Forgiveness = SEND AWAY = RELEASE.
When did the restoration take place? When the son returned. Restoration was dependent upon the return of the son. Sometimes people are unwilling to forgive because of restoration – they think- if I forgive this person, I will have to be around them again – and that is not good. Restoration can be bad – especially if there has been some type of abuse. I have counseled and have had friends who suffered from terrible sexual abuse. And there is a fear that by forgiving, they may have to restore the relationship and be around the person again.
I think Christians have hurt people by telling them they need to go back – and it is not true in any way, shape, or form.
3) The person doesn't have to be sorry or apologize for you to forgive them.
Forgiveness has no strings attached. - Restoration ALWAYS has strings attached.
To forgive someone – you can release them – with no strings attached – but if they are to come in your house and spend time there, there has to be strings attached.
4) Forgiveness does not eliminate justice. The crime must be judged justly – and should be. It is easy to – we think of forgiveness as ignoring or excusing the wrong – and that is not forgiveness at all. In order to forgive someone you have to recognize and name the wrong that has been done.
Forgiveness does not ignore or excuse the wrong
“You meant it for evil – God meant it for good!” - Joseph named their sin and forgave them.
It is hardest when a parent has injured a child – it is difficult to name that the parent has done wrong – and for many – it doesn't happen until they are 40, 50, 60, or 70.
Forgive – to release – to send away – to release a person of their debt – what they owe you – when you don’t forgive, they owe you for what you did.
Forgiveness is “you no longer owe me.” Debt is a financial word – we no longer owe me – and we no longer owe God. We don't hold anything over anyone's head. Sometimes it feels good to not forgive, because you get to hold it over their head – that is not right – but it is true – it feels good – for a time, but then, it starts to gnaw at you.
When we forgive, we release resentment and bitterness.
By forgiveness, you place justice in God's hands rather than keeping it in your own – you are letting them off the hook – and placing them on God's hook! And you allow God to be the judge of all of us.
We are not to be in that position -
The following verses, Jesus gives commentary on those verses – just to show that He wants this emphasized.

14 "For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 "But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.

Let me say this – so you are not confused. This is not in the context of how someone becomes a Christian. This verse is not about what it means to be saved. It is not what it is talking about – but it is talking about what it means to be a true citizen/disciple/ of this kingdom – yes, we know that we are saved by grace – not of works – but we think – if we are thinking properly, having the correct theology – it is an indication of our identity - “I got the theology thing right, I got the church thing right – I'm good...!” But your identity as a disciple of the kingdom is SEEN in how you live and what you do – the book of James! If you are a disciple of the Kingdom – you will forgive – that is what disciples do! They forgive. And your understanding and experience of God's forgiveness is somehow connected to your ability to completely forgive those who have hurt you.. Let's pray.