11.21.2010 Seeking God's Will in Decision Making

11.21.2010 Grace Summit Sermon - Seeking God's Will in Decision Making - Jeff and Melissa Yackley from Grace Summit on Vimeo.

11.21.2010 Grace Summit Worship from Grace Summit on Vimeo.

I. Introduction: Jeff—
This is the third sermon in the Tag-team sermon series - Over the past couple of months, Mike & Cindy shared about forgiveness, Dick and Sue talked about Love and Acceptance, and today we are going to talk about a defining element of our lives – Seeking God's Will in Decision-making.
Melissa:
One of the reasons this has been such a big thing in our lives is that we are naturally pretty bad at making decisions. We have a hard time just choosing a course of action sometimes. So the things we're going to talk about are principles that have helped us over the years.
Before we talk specifically about seeking God's will in decision-making, I think it's important to understand what the Marettes and Coopers talked about regarding forgiveness and love and acceptance first in relation to God. We have to believe those things—that God has forgiven us for any mistakes we've made in the past, and that He loves us right now as much as He ever will, no matter what good or bad we do in the future. If we have doubts about those things, it will affect our ability to trust God and to trust Him when He speaks to us about the direction for our lives and to have the confidence to step out and obey when He does speak to us. Of course, no one can do that perfectly, but we do need to keep working on that, and we need to be aware that some of our issues with hearing from God, may relate back to forgiveness and believing how much God loves us.

Jeff:
John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I came that they might have life, and might have [it] abundantly.
There is a foundation that we plan to build upon – a principle that is true and it is important to understand that it is true before we can go any further. This sets the tone for everything else we have to share: God loves you, He is always right, and He always wants your best.

There are many scriptures and promises that make this clear – but it is important that you allow this truth to sink into your life. If you struggle with believing this, I encourage you to write out some of the promises that indicate this is true. Last week Mike joked that many of these promises we take out of context – but I don't think it is wrong to claim a promise made to a specific person when the whole of scripture supports the principle. For instance, the first verse that we taught Katie to memorize when she was about 2 years old was originally made to Abraham in Genesis 12:2 – And you shall be a blessing. Is that not what the Christian life is about – blessing others?
2 Corinthians 1:20 For as many as may be the promises of God, in Him they are yes;
Christ is the fulfillment of the Old Testament promises – – realize that this was God's heart for His people in the Bible – and I believe it is God's heart for His people today.

Melissa:
This is a foundational step in this process of seeking God for me. I struggle to trust God completely, so I have to spend a lot of time reminding myself of the truth of God's Word—taking every thought captive in believing that God wants my best because He really, truly loves me. That I can trust Him with my life and don't have to fear turning it completely over to Him and hearing what He wants me to do, because He is always right, and He always wants my best.

I try to walk every day, and I often spend part of those walks praying and talking to God, affirming in my mind His faithfulness and going over verses like John 10:10 that Jeff mentioned. That when I am tempted to think that God is taking something away from me, or when I'm tempted to worry about something, I have to understand that that is from Satan—the thief—not God. God wants to give us an abundant life.
The verse I always go back to as a promise of God's attitude toward me is Jer. 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare, and not calamity, to give you a future and a hope.” Of course, that doesn't mean nothing bad will ever happen, but it's a promise to me of what God's desire is for me.

The last part of this step that I've had to deal with over the years and settle with God on a regular basis, is that when God and I don't agree on what's going on in my life—He's allowed something in my life that I don't like, that He's asked me to do something that I don't want to do—He's right and I'm wrong. Every time. That doesn't seem like it should be such a hard thing to accept since He is God and everything. But still, I think all of us would agree that there are times we think, “God, I really don't think I would have done things this way.” In those times, I have tried very hard to get to the point of saying, “God, I agree with everything You are doing in my life—the good things, the hard things—You know what is best for me, and I submit myself to Your work in my life.” I started doing that in college when things were hard, and it has helped me many times to verbalize my willingness to let God have His way in my life. That certainly makes it easier to hear from God when we have submitted ourselves to God's authority, and I think it makes it more likely that God will speak into a life that is in that place of understanding our position before God.

Jeff:
I don't know how many of you know this, but Melissa and I dated on and off through high school – and into the first couple of years of college. She got involved in what is now H20 at Bowling Green – and I got involved in what is now – well, Grace Summit Community Church. Ha. - actually, a similar group at Akron. In our understanding of God's love for us and that He is always right and that He always wants our best, we decided that the best thing for our lives at that point would be to focus on our relationship with the Lord and to stop dating. Not just each other, but to stop dating altogether. This required trust that God would provide the right spouse for us someday – and while we hoped it would be each other, we had no guarantees. We had to trust that God would take care of every aspect of our lives.

So the first point is to believe that God loves you, that He is always right, and that He always wants our best.
The next point is similar, but one that we can easily miss.
We must Believe that God wants to communicate to us.

2 Chronicles 16:9 "For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.

When we give ourselves completely to God, He desires to strongly support us – and that means giving us wisdom for our lives in the decisions we have to make.
Isaiah 50:4b says, “ (The Lord) awakens me morning by morning, He awakens my ear to listen as a disciple.”
When you tune your heart to spend time with God, He is faithful to speak.

Melissa:
I think sometimes we don't hear from God because we aren't truly convinced that He wants to communicate with us. We might start out praying about something, and if we don't get an answer quickly, we might think that God doesn't really want to give us an answer. So we stop praying and just do the best we can. But if we read on after Jer. 29:11 to verses 12-14, we can see that God really does want to allow us to find Him and hear from Him:

Jeremiah 29:12 'Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 'And you will seek Me and find [Me,] when you search for Me with all your heart. 14 'And I will be found by you,' declares the Lord,

Very often I think the reason we don't get an answer quickly is because God enjoys the process of us seeking Him, and we can enjoy it too if we remember that we're in a relationship with a real Person and that the time we spend talking to Him about a situation and seeking His will is a precious privilege—we get to go to the Maker of the Universe to get help for our lives. So instead of praying and giving up if it takes a while to get a clear answer, I would encourage all of us to keep seeking and enjoy the process—which comes from believing God does want to give us an answer when the time is right.

Jeff – By the time I graduated from college, it had been 3 years since we had made the decision to stop dating – yet, because my family had moved to North Carolina, any time there was a college break we would get to see each other. However, after Melissa graduated, she had moved to Missouri to help out with the campus church there – and because I was in a 5 year program, I had another year of school to go.
Once I graduated from college, it was my heart's desire to ask Melissa to marry me. BUT – I had some Scriptures to reconcile and to seek God's heart on – Paul speaks in 1 Corinthians 7 about how if you are not married – it may be better, for the sake of the Gospel, to remain unmarried. 1 Corinthians 7:32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and [his interests] are divided.
But then, I was reading Proverbs 31 – and I came across these verses:
10 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
I figured – if I will have no lack of gain – it must mean that we can be more effective for the gospel together than we could be on our own. So I decided to call her in Missouri and ask if she would pray about marrying me.

Melissa: When Jeff called me out of the blue and asked me to pray about marrying him, I knew that was a time I would wait for an answer from God no matter how long it took because it was a huge, life-changing decision that I did not want to get wrong.

And so, I started to intensely seek God every day. I was working nights as nurse, so I would get up at 4pm and read, pray, and journal until dinner time. I just kept reading where I was in the Bible and prayed that God would speak through His Word to me. I let Him know that I was willing to do whatever He told me, but that I refused to give Jeff an answer until I had heard clearly from Him. This went on for 10 days...

Jeff: And this portion of the story is to be continued...
So we see that first you must understand that God loves you, that He is always right, that He wants what is best for you – and that He wants to communicate with you.
The next thing to understand is that we must determine to obey what He speaks to us and calls us to do.
John 14: 21 "He who has My commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves Me; and he who loves Me shall be loved by My Father, and I will love him, and will disclose Myself to him."
We show that we love God by obeying Him. But there is also a promise with this – as we obey Him, He promises to disclose more of Himself to us.
Another encouraging promise along these lines: 1 John 5:3 For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome. How encouraging is that – His commands are not burdensome.
But we must set our hearts to obey Him.

Melissa:
In my experience, I have only really heard from God about making a decision when I've settled this up front. If I've already decided what I want to do, and I'm just asking God for His stamp of approval on my decision, I don't usually get a very clear answer. And, sometimes, God has to give me an answer I don't like, so it's easier for me to just decide up front, that whatever God says, I'll do. And the reason we can do that? Because we remember that God loves us and wants our best and always does what is right. And we want to show God that we love Him by obeying.

John 7:17 "If any man is willing to do His will, he shall know of the teaching, whether it is of God, or [whether] I speak from Myself.
Power of a Whisper: “Just say the word” Christians.

Ps. 119: 30 I have chosen the faithful way; I have placed Thine ordinances [before me.] 31 I cleave to Thy testimonies; O Lord, do not put me to shame! 32 I shall run the way of Thy commandments, For Thou wilt enlarge my heart.

I was just talking to Katie this week about a decision she had to make between two things, and we talked about how hard it is to obey sometimes, that it's a sacrifice to do what God asks and even scary sometimes when we can't see how things will turn out. But we also talked about how scary it is to NOT obey—not because we fear God will punish us, but because we fear missing out on the best/good/perfect will of God and the plans HE has for us. To me, I'd much rather it be hard up front by obeying, than hard later by missing out or experiencing the consequences of disobedience.

Jeff:
We had lived in a little house in Cuyahoga Falls for 7 years, and we had had our third child – and we knew we needed more space. So we decided to start looking for a newer, bigger house. The home we were in had increased in value by about 50%, and I felt like we could save a lot of money if we could sell by owner instead of paying high realtor fees.

Melissa: We had talked to Realtor, discussed the options, but I wanted to be sure Jeff had heard from God. My main concern was that in talking to the realtor, he made it clear that the person selling by owner would be hardest on was the woman—having to deal with people calling to see the house, etc.

Jeff: So I took my Bible, my Crown Ministries book, and my Experiencing God workbook – and headed to...the parking lot at the party center at the Bath and State Road intersection. It was deserted! The Bible says that Jesus would often retreat to a deserted place! While I was there, I found many verses on being a good steward and trusting God and believing Him that He could help us sell our house. So the decision was to press forward to sell by owner without the help of a realtor.

Melissa:
I really wanted Jeff to come back and say I was right and he was wrong and we should get a realtor and my life would be easier as a result. That's why I had to decide ahead of time that I would trust God to speak to Jeff, and that, as the head of our family, Jeff would honestly seek God and decide what was best for us. And I would agree to it and go along with it whole-heartedly, not dragging my feet as time went on.

Jeff: But that's not what God showed me...

Melissa: And, I'd like to say that because I was so willing to go along with things, our house sold after only a week or two on the market and it was much easier than I thought it would be and God rewarded me for being such a submissive wife! But the reality was that we had open houses every weekend for three months before it sold, (which doesn't sound so bad in this housing market, but at that time, we had friends who put their house on the market and had a buyer in a week!) and it was difficult at times with three small children and a new puppy and doing everything ourselves. But our family learned some valuable lessons about faith and waiting for God—Katie's Noah story...


And in the end, it did sell with no problems, and we were able to buy a nicer house because we didn't have to pay a realtor for selling our first house. And that is another story all together....

Jeff:
Once you've committed to do whatever God shows you – being willing to obey Him, the question begs to be asked:
V. How do you hear from God?
The first and most important way that God speaks to us is through His word – the Bible.
Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword,
It is LIVING and ACTIVE – to me that means that even though it was written thousands of years ago, it is living – therefore, it is relevant to us today..
2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; 17 that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.
God specifically says that He gives us the Scriptures that we may be equipped.

Melissa:
I really appreciated Henry Blackaby's study, Experiencing God, because he explained so clearly how God speaks to us through His Word. This drawing is from that study, and you can see that when a believer in Christ sits down to read the Word, we are not alone in that process. The Holy Spirit is there with us. As we read, He can help us to understand what we're reading and He can speak into our hearts from the word on the page.

This practice of reading the Word daily, and journaling about what we read, and asking God to speak to us is very different from just needing an answer about something and opening the Bible and pointing! When Jeff and I were working on this and I made this point, I opened my Bible and pointed to 2 Samuel 7:3 “Do whatever is in your heart, for the Lord is with you!”

That is a perfect example of how someone could get into a lot of trouble and say they were led to do it by the Bible. By the way, if you read on in that section, you see that Nathan had said that to David, but then God came along later and said NO. So at least read the whole section and not just one verse!!

Jeff: Decision-making principles—OK to look at principles in Word on topics like house/marriage (Proverbs 31, I Cor. 7)

God might not show you exactly what to do - but He can give you principles.

Melissa: Engagement story—reading the Word

As I mentioned before, this was the major way I looked to God to hear from Him in finding out what He wanted me to do about marrying Jeff. I was reading in I Timothy when he called, so I just kept reading there and continuing on from there since it says that all scripture is profitable for teaching and instruction. Every day I read, journaled, and prayed about what I was reading. I prayed a lot that I wouldn't read into a verse something that God wasn't really saying to me, or that I wouldn't miss anything He wanted to tell me.

B. Prayer Jeff: Blue Schwinn Bike story Mat. 7:7-8, Phil. 4:6,7
So we see that we hear from God through His word. We also hear from Him through Prayer.
Matthew 7:7 "Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you. 8 "For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it shall be opened.
Sometimes, I think God has something in mind that He wants to do for us – and speaks to us in our prayers to get us to ask Him for it.
Henry Blackaby tells the story of having bought a blue Schwinn bike for his son – and then spending the next few weeks trying to convince his son that the best thing in the world would be to have a blue Schwinn bike.
When we pray and seek God, He gives us peace and confidence that we are walking in His plans:
Phil. 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Melissa: Part of relationship with God-happens in each part Heb. 4:15-16, James 1:5

To me, prayer isn't really a separate step—it's part of our relationship with God that happens all along the way in every part of making a decision. When we are dealing with any trust issues, any submission issues, any unsureness at all about what to do, we need to be talking to God about it all the time. I talk to God throughout the day about little things—what should I do next? Is there anything I'm missing that I need to do, change, think more about? Being thankful for the little things too. All of this should just be a natural part of life. But there are times when we are seeking God, that we need some extended time to really hash things out with Him. Henry Blackaby said in Experiencing God, that God doesn't need us to pray, but He wants us to pray—because we are in a relationship with God, and prayer is part of that, not a religious activity. He wants to speak to us through the Holy Spirit when we pray.

Heb. 4:15 For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as [we are, yet] without sin. 16 Let us therefore draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and may find grace to help in time of need.
This tells us that we have a Person who understands our weaknesses, and so we can draw near with confidence to the throne of grace to receive mercy and grace in time of need.

James 1:5 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

So in the midst of making a decision or seeking God, make sure that you schedule some extended time to spend talking things over with God just as you would a friend or spouse, and believe that He will meet you there and can speak to you through His Spirit.


C. Counsel Jeff: Proverbs 12:5, 1:5, 13:10,20, Engagement and house stories
So we see that we hear from God First, through His word, second, through Prayer, and third, through Counsel
Prov. 12: 15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.
Prov. 1:5 A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel
Prov. 13:10 Through presumption comes nothing but strife, But with those who receive counsel is wisdom.
Prov. 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.
When we were trying to decide about selling our house by owner, I got counsel from a godly realtor that I knew, and also from those who had sold their houses themselves.

Melissa: engagement story

I was so grateful for having people in my life when I was praying about marrying Jeff who really knew me well, who had my best interests at heart, and who would give me honest, biblical input. It was so important to me to have close friends and my pastor with whom I could talk about what I was hearing from God and with whom I could discuss my questions and concerns. They often gave me suggestions about what steps to take, and they could ask me the hard questions I needed to be asked to keep my seeking God honest. When I finally felt like I had heard from God, I talked to them and got confirmation that it wasn't just my ideas, but really God's answer. There's nothing like having people in your life who love you and want to help you in the process of seeking God.

And now, I see Jeff as my number one source of counsel...If you are married, your spouse probably knows you better than anyone, wants your best, and will be honest with you about how they see things. Don't miss out on that source of counsel.

D. Circumstances
God speaks to us through His word, through prayer, through counsel, and lastly – and yes, leastly – through circumstances.
Sometimes the circumstances are God's will – because that is the only way it will be. For instance – The job you hoped to get was not offered. This is God's will – and it is dictated by circumstances. But there is another way to look at circumstances.

Jeff: Things we see God doing around us (John 5:19)

John 5:19 Jesus therefore answered and was saying to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless [it is] something He sees the Father doing; for whatever [the Father] does, these things the Son also does in like manner.
As we look to see how God is working around us, He gives us the privilege in joining in that work. If you were wondering about sharing your faith with someone – and it becomes obvious that God is already at work in his life, it makes it that much easier to join that work that God is already doing and to see that it is His will that you join Him in that work.

Melissa:
For me, circumstances most often involve getting more information to accurately understand the situation. Often we think we know the circumstances, but we might be missing some key pieces of information, so it's important to make sure we have all the details, gather all the information, get our questions answered if any have come up in the process.

Eph. 5:15 Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, 16 making the most of your time, because the days are evil. 17 So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

So in the process of deciding about getting married, I did my research, because I had some questions as I thought about each aspect of the decision. I called Jeff and interviewed him, I interviewed his roommates, his pastor, and in doing that, I had more confidence that I had an accurate picture of who Jeff was at that time, not just as I had known him in the past.

And so, just in case you were wondering how things turned out....I said yes...after 10 days. Because of these verses: Philemon

Philemon 1:
14 but without your consent I did not want to do anything, that your goodness should not be as it were by compulsion, but of your own free will. 15 For perhaps he was for this reason parted [from you] for a while, that you should have him back forever,

10 I appeal to you for my child, whom I have begotten in my imprisonment, Onesimus, 11 who formerly was useless to you, but now is useful both to you and to me. 12 And I have sent him back to you in person, that is, [sending] my very heart,

17 If then you regard me a partner, accept him as [you would] me.

21 Having confidence in your obedience, I write to you, since I know that you will do even more than what I say.

Jeff: So, in case you were wondering what we looked like back then – here is how the story turned out...


VI. Conclusion
So we see that first you must understand that God loves you, that He is always right, that He wants what is best for you – and that He wants to communicate with you. We must determine to obey what He speaks to us and calls us to do.
God speaks to us through
1) His Word
2) Prayer
3) Counsel
4) Circumstances
And through these things, He can give us peace that we have sought Him and we can trust Him with every aspect of our lives. Let's Pray.